Addiction

                 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  (Romans 12:17-21)

 

Suppose that someone starts using drugs and gets addicted, to the point that every day is spent either in anticipation of the high, the experience of the high, or the unpleasantness of sobering up. Maybe the addiction won’t reach the point where the addict spends the money needed for food, shelter, and utilities, but even if the drugs are never mentioned, they play a role in the relationships within the family. This is a reality that some people face, but the question is – is it good? Is it healthy for the person or the family?

Now, suppose that a person was assaulted by someone who was subsequently caught in put in jail. One might expect some level of relief or even joy about justice being done but suppose that the victim went to the prison every holiday to celebrate the criminal’s incarceration. The victim even takes days off from work to remind the criminal about what a monster he is. Even though the victim doesn’t invite the prisoner home for family dinners, the victim sets a place for him, and half the meal is spent focused on him. Would it be fair to describe the victim as being addicted to the criminal?

Of course, the victim of the crime may be grieving, and denial, anger, bargaining, and depression are all parts of grieving. But it needs to be asked – does the punishment of the criminal take away the grief? Does it end what might be called an addiction to the criminal and/or to the status of victim? Is such a victim not as addicted to the criminal or the crime as the drug addict is to his chosen poison?

There are people who have heard about hateful, evil people, and feel obligated to vent about that person whenever the opportunity can be made to do so. These evil people deserve to be punished, and no punishment is too extreme for them. But is the person who insists on exercising his right to vent and hates any less addicted?

The problem with revenge is that it has nothing to do with justice. It has everything to do with maintaining a connection with the person who has done wrong. Extracting revenge is practicing addiction. When Scripture calls on us to forgive, or to forsake revenge, the goal isn’t to let the guilty party off the hook. It’s to let the victim off the hook.

          As you go through your day – think of each minute as worth $100. You must spend it on whatever you focus on for that moment. Do you really want to hand it to someone who has done you harm?