I Am Not

             But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7)

God said this about Eliab, David’s oldest brother. David was so little thought of that his father didn’t even call him to join the family either for this important social engagement (dinner with the Seer!) or for the requested review of his children to be made by the same prophet. While Joseph was given a coat of many colors, David may not have been given a coat at all. I’m not suggesting that David’s family was abusive, but I am making a comparison of parental predispositions.

We have predispositions toward ourselves as well. Filling the full range from self-worship to self-loathing. What’s more, like Samuel, we tend to base those predispositions on appearances. Sometimes, the appearances are lame. I’ve had more than one discussion with God about what I am not. At one point, it was that I am not a jogger, while I was jogging. Another time, it was that I am not a poet, and then I wrote poetry for several months. Among the things “I am not” now are a photographer, an author, and a homesteader. Basically, whatever I find myself doing, except failing, I proclaim I am not one who does them well. I think part of the reason for this is that if I say I am one, then I have to take responsibility to do everything one of them does and do it well. Again – appearances.

It may be that others are much better at not looking at outward appearances, but I suspect I’m not alone. So, here’s my challenge to everyone, including myself. Make a list of all the things you are not, even though you engage in at least one activity that might be considered part of that role. Aim for at least ten. Pick three and discuss them with God. You might be right that you’re not one. But if your discussion with God leads you to conclude that you are or should be one of them. Discuss that further.