Characteristics Of His Presence

I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. (II Timothy 1:5-7) 

          I can relate to Timothy. Like him, my parents and their parents and, as far as I can tell, several more generations of parents are believers. Except for a rebellious phase as a teen, I have attended church. I don’t like to make any claims about my faith, but I am persuaded that it exists. As the last statement shows, I tend to be a little timid, at least sometimes. Today is one of those sometimes. On my reluctant walk, I …well, I can’t say I cried out to God; it was more like whining. Cries are bold. Whines are timid. There wasn’t anything wrong. I was just very confident in my absolute failure in every role I will take today. 
         I know I’m not so perfect as to absolutely fail in everything. Even a blind pig finds an acorn sometimes. I also know that, for me, walking is an effective remedy. When you’re tired, you don’t have the energy to whine, the mental gerbil wheel slows down, and rationality can return. Put another way, when you pull the plug on the voices in your head, you can hear yourself think, and you can hear the voice of God better.
         Timidity and anxiety are not from God. They are from the world, the flesh or the devil. What comes from God is powerful, loving and self-controlled. It’s also joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, and gentle (Galatians 5:22-23.) Furthermore, it is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17.) This is what comes when I’ve walked far enough or otherwise gotten past my whining. It’s not the get-home-after-work-and-get-comfortable or spend-all-day-in-pajamas sort of feeling. It’s more like a showering-dressing-putting-on-makeup; or tying-on-good-solid-shoes sort of feeling. It’s prepared and in-touch. 
          I used to be ashamed about my anxiety, tremulous about my timidity. I’d still like to get past them completely, but having recognized them for what they are, I find them to be a good road sign. I can say, “This feeling is just me and I’ll get over it.” I can then later see that what I am feeling is not like what I felt before. It has the characteristics of His presence.