Skip to main content

Loving:


          Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (I John 4:7-10)

          Why did John have to spend so much time talking about our loving one another? Were there one or two nasty, power-hungry control freaks causing trouble among 99% wonderful, loving, considerate, tolerant folks? That’s never been my experience. Oh, the power-hungry control-freaks are there sometimes, but the need to be reminded, and reminded, and reminded about love doesn’t come from there. The problem isn’t just with a couple folks, but with all of us. We all need to be reminded.
          A scene from a week or so ago comes to mind. A man came to the dog park with his dog and kids. He’s been there once before, and one of my friends and I were polite, exchanging small-talk as needed, but not effusive. Another of my friends showed up and ten seconds later (maybe that’s exaggerated) she was talking to him. Soon, she was talking sports with his son. I later informed her that she is SUCH a people person.
          It’s amazing to watch people people, probably because I’m not one. If I were, that would all be normal. Often, people people are considered as being loving, and non-people people are considered unloving and cold. I don’t think that’s really the way to define love. According to Gary Chapman, there are five different ways that love can be expressed.
          I took his test years ago, and learned that my strongest love language was words of affirmation. I just took the test again and discovered that it is now acts of service. I don’t think I’ve changed, but my circumstances have. Acts of service are required from me and someone else doing something to help helps. At the same time, I refuse help more often than not. It gets complicated. The point is, however, that “Hey, let me spend time talking to you and focusing on you” isn’t my forte, especially when I have someone else I love who needs it “more than you do.” Not trying to be nasty here – the point is that different people love differently, and I’m not sure that circumstances don’t change how we love or what love we need. (I’d love to see a study of how the personality types and love languages do or don’t work together.)
          The point should not be about how we love, but about whether we love, but when your love language is giving gifts, and you’re in a relationship with someone whose love language is acts of service, it’s not that you aren’t being loved

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Gal 6:10)   “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.   By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)           Joshua grinned when he saw Rex standing by the door, studying something on the ground. "Hey, man! Are we ready to do this thing?"          Rex looked up. "Josh, I can't do it. We're still best buds, but I can't stand your fiancée."           I've met "Rex" many times. I've been Rex. Joshua (Jesus) loves the Church. He's not a fool. He knows the Church is far from perfect, but she is His chosen bride. The Rexes of this world, who think themselves His friend, turn away from her. "You don't need the Church to...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ssssssubmmissssssionnn

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ . (Ephesians 5:21)             "Ssssssubmmisssssssionnn." Can't you just hear the serpent hissing this most horrible of words? If you listen to the serpent or the world, submission means groveling, allowing yourself to be abused, denying yourself your own humanity. Nothing could be worse than submission, could it?             Submission has never been a problem for me, as long as things are going the way I want them to. The rest of the time? Well, let's just say that while I don't know how to fight physically, I don't know how to not fight mentally. One of the fights I've been having with myself for years is about submission.             My first breakthrough took place on a trip to a bookstore. As I walked into the store, my thoughts were very clear. 1) I was goi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shark Fins, Triple Dog Dares, Heroes, Villains and Sidekicks

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)            There's a scene in Jaws in which someone sees a shark fin and starts a panic. As   all the swimmers scramble to shore, boats surround the fin, which falls over to reveal two kids. With several guns pointed at them, one of the kids points at the other. The message is clear: it was his idea. In Christmas Story, there's a scene in which one kid "triple dog dares" another to do something stupid. Since it's a triple dog dare, well, what choice does the boy have? There doesn't seem to be any end to the trouble that peer pressure can cause. ...
Post a Comment
Read more