Skip to main content

Loving:


          Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. (I John 4:7-10)

          Why did John have to spend so much time talking about our loving one another? Were there one or two nasty, power-hungry control freaks causing trouble among 99% wonderful, loving, considerate, tolerant folks? That’s never been my experience. Oh, the power-hungry control-freaks are there sometimes, but the need to be reminded, and reminded, and reminded about love doesn’t come from there. The problem isn’t just with a couple folks, but with all of us. We all need to be reminded.
          A scene from a week or so ago comes to mind. A man came to the dog park with his dog and kids. He’s been there once before, and one of my friends and I were polite, exchanging small-talk as needed, but not effusive. Another of my friends showed up and ten seconds later (maybe that’s exaggerated) she was talking to him. Soon, she was talking sports with his son. I later informed her that she is SUCH a people person.
          It’s amazing to watch people people, probably because I’m not one. If I were, that would all be normal. Often, people people are considered as being loving, and non-people people are considered unloving and cold. I don’t think that’s really the way to define love. According to Gary Chapman, there are five different ways that love can be expressed.
          I took his test years ago, and learned that my strongest love language was words of affirmation. I just took the test again and discovered that it is now acts of service. I don’t think I’ve changed, but my circumstances have. Acts of service are required from me and someone else doing something to help helps. At the same time, I refuse help more often than not. It gets complicated. The point is, however, that “Hey, let me spend time talking to you and focusing on you” isn’t my forte, especially when I have someone else I love who needs it “more than you do.” Not trying to be nasty here – the point is that different people love differently, and I’m not sure that circumstances don’t change how we love or what love we need. (I’d love to see a study of how the personality types and love languages do or don’t work together.)
          The point should not be about how we love, but about whether we love, but when your love language is giving gifts, and you’re in a relationship with someone whose love language is acts of service, it’s not that you aren’t being loved

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Think About These Things

                 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8) This passage is a major challenge for me. Like everyone else, I struggle to keep my thoughts from wandering off into the weeds, then wondering what possible benefits those weeds might have… Sigh. But as a writer, I have to delve at least a little into the ignoble, wrong, impure, unlovely, and debased. After all, there’s no story if everything’s just as it should be and everyone’s happy. As Christians, there are times when we need to deal with all the negatives, but that makes it even more important that we practice turning our minds by force of attention to what is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. It’s just too easy to get stuck in a swamp. With my...
1 comment
Read more

Higher Thoughts

  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the  Lord . “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)           The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments,   for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord      so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. (I Corinthians 2:15-16) If you read about the ancient gods of the various peoples, you’ll find that they think just like people. In fact, they think just like the sort of people we really wouldn’t want to be around. They think like the most corrupt Hollywood producer or, like hormone overloaded teens with no upbringing.   It’s embarrassing to read. I have a friend who argues that because God is not just like us, He is so vastly dif...
2 comments
Read more

Pure...

            The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (I Timothy 1:5)   I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16) I’m probably cheating - or mishandling the Bible, but earlier I was thinking about love being pure and purifying. And hatred being pure and purifying. And anger…joy…patience… fear… jealousy… courage…lust… and other strongly felt feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Today’s verse brings purity and love together, so it’s the verse of the day, but it’s not really the focus. That means my motive for sharing it with you probably isn’t pure. As you read through my list, you   probably thought, “Yeah” about some, and “What’s she on?” about others. But consider how much hatred, a...
Post a Comment
Read more