If
I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I
am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I
have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all
knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do
not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to
the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not
have love, I gain nothing. (I Corinthians 13:1-3)
Greater love has
no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John
15:13)
As
we approach St. Valentine’s Day, the thoughts of many who “observe” the day turn
to lust. The thoughts of some turn to love. For me, it’s an opportunity to sing
the praises of love and to contrast it with what the world says. As a sort of
an aside, let’s start with the apparent contradiction. Jesus said laying down
one’s life for one’s friends was a demonstration of the greatest love, but Paul
said that if we give over our bodies to hardship…but do not have love, we gain
nothing. Not every act – even of self-sacrifice – is necessarily a demonstration
of love. So there is no contradiction here. There is no greater love than to lay
down one’s life for one’s friends, but that might not be the only reason
someone might lay down their life. They may do so in order to boast – like the young
men who shoot into crowds and suffer death by cop. Their goal is to make a name
for themselves .
With
that bit of irritation out of our way, no matter how well I talk, how much I
know, how much authority or wisdom I have or how sacrificial and generous I am,
it’s all a waste. Years ago, a pastor said that it was OK for him to talk to
the congregation about general things, or things that were problems for other
people, but the moment he started dealing with specifics and things that hit home,
he was described as meddling. The truth of the matter is that all that I write
is designed to meddle, and now it’s time to do so again.
Pick
three to five virtues that matter to you. In no particular order, I’ll pick competence,
faithfulness, honesty, intelligence, and wisdom. You could pick woke, inclusive,
kind, empathetic, and tolerance. It doesn’t matter what your virtues are. You or
I could be the shining example of all five - or ten! - of those virtues. In a
contest, you or I could shatter all the world records for those traits. But, if
you don’t love me, or I don’t love you, it’s all wasted. If either of us does
not love the other, we are a waste of flesh and good only for the garbage heap
of the universe.
The
challenge with that statement is the definition of love. Tomorrow, we’ll start
into the characteristics or description of love, but today, let’s go with the
definition Dallas Willard gave. Love is the dedicated desire for the good of the
beloved, including the desire for a healthy relationship with the beloved. This
means that a person could love someone else without the object of their love
feeling loved. But objectively, if are doing what you can to help a kid grow up
to be capable and responsible, you are loving them even if you never let them do
“anything.” And if you let them do what they want, you may not be loving them
at all.
So let’s make it really meddling and even use some harsh words. If you call people names, look forward to shaming them, ridicule them, humiliate them, declare them to be subhuman or stupid – or otherwise demean them – YOU are nothing. You are doing no good for anyone. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re right or justified. It doesn't matter if you are right and justified. And the same goes for me.
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