Hear
my voice when I call, O LORD! be
merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face,
LORD, I will seek. Do not hide
your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my
helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. Though my father and
mother forsake me, the LORD will
receive me. (Psalm
27:7-10)
When I was little, my parents were forced to leave me at a hospital for a time. The rules were, “stay with your child 24/7 or come back when she’s discharged.” I understand the reason for those ridiculous rules now, but at the time, Dad had a job and Mom had two other children. There were no relatives nearby who could step in to help. Now I understand all that, but I can also understand the feeling of abandonment. As a caregiver, and a daughter I’m facing the same situation (except now the hospital has changed that ruling.) I can’t be there 24/7 for Dad. I have to sleep sometimes and caring for him requires errands. On the other side of the equation, Dad can’t be here for me anymore. Physically he is, of course, but my MacGyver is gone. My other pair of hands is gone. The one on whom I have long depended is no longer around – though I think he wants to be. I’m not abandoned because he does not care, I’m abandoned because he is not there.
I’m not writing this as part of a pity party. Actually, it’s a lead-in to a praise party, because the thing is, God doesn’t abandon His children. Sometimes, He seems hard to find, but when that happens, I tend to be looking form something or someone other than Him. Often, it’s a knight in shining armor that I want to find; someone who will make my situation all better (according to my definition) and then ride away seeking another damsel in distress to rescue. But God is still there. I haven’t been rejected or forsaken even when I’ve wandered off and forgotten. It’s a lot easier for people to forsake me than it is for God to do so. It’s just not in His nature.
When I was little, my parents were forced to leave me at a hospital for a time. The rules were, “stay with your child 24/7 or come back when she’s discharged.” I understand the reason for those ridiculous rules now, but at the time, Dad had a job and Mom had two other children. There were no relatives nearby who could step in to help. Now I understand all that, but I can also understand the feeling of abandonment. As a caregiver, and a daughter I’m facing the same situation (except now the hospital has changed that ruling.) I can’t be there 24/7 for Dad. I have to sleep sometimes and caring for him requires errands. On the other side of the equation, Dad can’t be here for me anymore. Physically he is, of course, but my MacGyver is gone. My other pair of hands is gone. The one on whom I have long depended is no longer around – though I think he wants to be. I’m not abandoned because he does not care, I’m abandoned because he is not there.
I’m not writing this as part of a pity party. Actually, it’s a lead-in to a praise party, because the thing is, God doesn’t abandon His children. Sometimes, He seems hard to find, but when that happens, I tend to be looking form something or someone other than Him. Often, it’s a knight in shining armor that I want to find; someone who will make my situation all better (according to my definition) and then ride away seeking another damsel in distress to rescue. But God is still there. I haven’t been rejected or forsaken even when I’ve wandered off and forgotten. It’s a lot easier for people to forsake me than it is for God to do so. It’s just not in His nature.
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