Mockers And Wicked Men

“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. (Proverbs 9:7-9)

Let me begin with a public service announcement. My blog posting on Friday and Saturday may be disrupted. We’ve reached the time for migration. I hope that it all goes smoothly and that I can post. If not, by Sunday things should be back to what I call normal. I apologize for any inconvenience.

Now. how do I address today’s passage without appearing to rant? I don’t know of any way. One of the first rules of debate, known since the time of Aristotle, is that attacks against the person means your argument is invalid. Solomon is agreeing here. Mockers insult. Wicked men abuse the one who rebukes them. The moment you start calling names, diagnosing mental illness or insufficiency, or passing judgment on the person, you have failed. Your arguments are garbage. The person with whom you are arguing may be as insane, stupid, or wicked as you proclaim them to be, but that doesn’t mean they are wrong about what they’re saying. Ridicule and rejection are not proof that you are right.

This is why I try not to attack people in my arguments. I try not to discuss homosexuals (who among other things, are a diverse group of individuals who should not be treated as a homogeneous collective.) I admit that I discuss Liberals as a group of people who actually believe Liberal philosophy as it is being taught now. I’m working on that. I like and even love liberal people. I loathe Liberalism because it is the teaching of the World, not of Scripture. It hates Scripture except as a means of manipulating others. I might be wrong about that, but those who attempt to prove that to me never offer any real evidence, they just start calling me names.

I not only need to be better about how I argue, but I need to learn to be better about shutting down an argument in which either side resorts to mockery and abuse. Psychology Today has posted an article about gaslighting. Here are some of the things our discussions need to avoid:

1.. Blatant lies. I’m going to differentiate this from mistakes and errors. We all need to fact-check better, but gaslighting involves telling lies that one knows to be lies

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. I’ve been known to keep copies of online discussions, and been able to quote the other person by copying and pasting, and been told that I am lying.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. 

4. They wear you down over time.

5. Their actions do not match their words.

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you. 

7. They know confusion weakens people. 

8. They project. This means that (for example) if they use drugs and you do not, they accuse you of being the addict.

9. They try to align people against you.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

And don’t be mistaken, we all gaslight to some extent. The goal is to recognize it in others and in ourselves, and to walk away.