Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (II Timothy 1:23-26)
This is one of those passages that can easily be misquoted. People
may go as far as “not resentful” and stop. This leads to a false impression of
what the Lord’s servant is to be like. Don’t ever say anything that might be
considered quarrelsome or unkind, and don’t ever be resentful, period. In other
words, the Lord’s servant has to keep his/her big mouth shut at all times.
Never mind that Jesus didn’t do this
If we continue to the next verse, however, we see how we are to
deal with those who disagree. We are to gently instruct them. We’re to have
hope that God will work in their lives, and hope requires patience and
endurance on our part. Yes, there were times when Jesus expressed Himself
strongly, but there is no evidence that such was His standard approach. In Paul’s admonition, the word translate “quarrels”
is translated in a number of other ways in this verse: strife, conflict,
fights, trouble, contentions, battles, and infighting. In only three do they
use the word arguments. Twice, they use a modifier: bitter, bigger. One says it
will breed arguments. I think it important that the vast majority of
translations do not use the word “argument” because do not have to be as
emotional as a quarrel. With a quarrel,
there is generally personal animus. One side or the other, or both sides emerges
with feelings of hostility toward the other. This is what we’re supposed to
avoid.
That’s not the same as giving up or surrendering. Keep in mind
that God’s been doing this in the lives of billions of people for thousands of
years, and He hasn’t given up. Just make sure that you're not engaging in foolish or stupid arguments.
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