What is It?

             If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (I Corinthians 13:1-3)

This is a tough one, because people are divided, and both sides have far to many people who claim to be Christians, but who read this verse and effectively say, “Yeah, you worthless piece of roadkill that claims to be a Christian, you talk big but where’s your love?” So, I’m going to begin with a clear statement: I am nothing. I will probably always be nothing. I will gain nothing. Because I can probably guarantee that you’ll decide that I don’t love unless I live according to your dictates. If I did, I wouldn’t be loving.

Even the person who uses a softer-sales technique: “I don’t understand how you can say you love when you…” is going to have to conclude that I don’t love, because I don’t love according to their dictates. I can’t even live up to my dog’s test of love – which involves going for walks when it’s too cold for either of us to be outside for that long, letting her run free when it’s too cold and she’s just had surgery, giving her a thousand treats per day, or petting her whenever she wants and not when she doesn’t. And somehow, I’m supposed to know when is which. I don’t live up to my own dictates.

And while those who judge are quick to claim that we should not judge and that we should make allowances for how other people have had struggles and have heroically achieved the level of love they have, no matter how small, they forget that what we are doing may have taken just as heroic a struggle to reach even our miserable state of love. And yes, we’re as likely to be among “those who judge” with regard to ourselves as we are with regard to others. Most of us have had something less than the perfect life that could turn us into the perfect people in the opinion of everyone. Right now, I’m severely disappointing my dog in her opinion of what love requires of me. But, God is our judge, and the fact is that if we even tried to live up to someone’s requirements, we wouldn’t be loving. We’d be the resounding gong and clanging cymbal.

So, how do we avoid being a noisemaker? You know the list, and it’ll probably be tomorrows passage. It’s a good description, but not a definition. It probably won’t help, but there are at least 9 Greek words that are translated as love:

Eros: Sexual Desire

Philia: Brotherly or Platonic Love, Liking

Storge: Devoted or Familial Love

                Pragma: Mature Love

                Ludus: Playful Love

                Mania: Obsessive Love

                Meraki (Modern Greek): Creative Endeavors

                Philautia: Self-Love.

                Agape: “Unconditional Love”

               

                I would add that there is the sort of love one feels for one’s preferred country, and a type of love for one’s other preferences – a love for roses as opposed to a love for trucks, for example, or a love of pizza. And, there is a possessive “love.” There’s also pedophilia, another modern use of Greek, which means “child love.” This means that when someone says “Love is Love,” they are wrong or lying. The term used in this passage is agape.

                The thing about agape is that while it is unconditional in the sense that the one loving won’t stop loving, it is not unconditional in the sense of anything and everything the beloved wants is acceptable because the beloved wants is. Contrary to the old notion that a true friend is the person who helps you bury the bodies, one could love a serial killer and faithfully visit him in prison for the rest of his life, while being the person who turned him in to the police.

                So what is love?  The picture below is probably my favorite definition. And once again, I can only say that I am nothing. I gain nothing. I’m no closer to fitting this description than I am to living on a planet orbiting Aldebaran. But it’s a goal toward which, with God’s guidance and blessing, I may work. (And no, quoting Ms. Hurnard doesn't mean I agree with everything she says.)