What Comes Out

             Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  (Ephesians 4:29)

When I was in Toastmasters, one of the lessons they taught was to avoid saying “um” or “uh” (or any of those filler noises.) Later, I adapted this rule, with the idea being that using filler noises was OK, if one did so deliberately. The problem is that people are so in the habit of filler noises that they don’t even realize they’re using them. As an example, in college, one of my profs said, “You know” so often that I stopped listening to what he was trying to say and counted. If I recall correctly, I came up with at least 30 times in 15 minutes. In one case, it was a double! “You know. You know.”

Filler noises are bad habits, but they’re not the only bad habits we have that involve our mouths. There’s a man up the street from me who regularly shouts, “What’s wrong with you?” at his kids for the whole neighborhood to hear. Some people don’t even realize when they’re using f-bombs. Others can’t seem to get through a conversation without being abusive. Some seem to think it’s acceptable to demean someone else for a laugh. They think they’re doing their victims and the public a great service. There are even those who think that using abusive or foul language is a sign of intelligence

And do I need to remind us of the things we say to ourselves? A lot of this is just habit.  Half of the time, I suspect we don’t have a clue what we’ve just said – just what we meant. This is an area in which we need to be more mindful, more conscious, and more prayerful. There are things we shouldn’t say, and that’s one place we can start. Another place is to pay attention to what we say, and prayerfully make decisions about whether or not we want to speak that way.