It's a tricky
business, trying to thoughtfully make a new, healthy life. It means changes to
diet and exercise routines, starting educational endeavors and projects that we
always promise ourselves we'd do "someday." The thing that has stopped
me in my tracks is stopping. One of the things I love about not working for
someone else is that I have Sundays off. It's a time to set aside to spend with
God and family. Then Sunday comes and I have to say, "ummmmm."
Job #1
is caregiver to an 86 year old man, an adolescent dog and myself. I am on-duty
24/7. I'm not needed all that time, but Sunday as a family time makes Sunday
like every other day. Maybe more so. How do stay-at-home moms get a Sabbath
while still making it about family?
Job #2 is
as a writer. So, on Sundays do I not read anything? Do no research? Write nothing?
Not think about whatever has become my temporary obsession, or anything that
might become a temporary obsession if I start thinking about it? For the sake of
mental health, that's a really good idea, but practically? On Sundays, I have
to become someone I'm not? Excuse me while I laugh...and weep.
Of
course, the other part is that Sunday is a day focused on God. I consider at
least part of my reading, writing and research to be a ministry. So how do
ministers separate the time focused on God in their ministry from the time
focused on God for the Sabbath?
In some
ways, holidays are easier. At least with a holiday there's a theme (and perhaps
that's a clue for Sundays.) Holidays also harder. When I worked in retail I learned
to hate holidays. Sometimes I had to miss the holiday completely because I had
to work. Sometimes, the holiday was shoved down our throats in the worst, most
commercial way, with holiday spirits and holiday stress bringing out the worst
in everyone involved, especially in me.
I have
tended to spend my holidays quietly, contemplation on the meaning of the day
being preferable to all the fun, games, and socializing that are staples of holidays
for others. I know that celebration is a positive, healthy thing. The challenge is to find a way to make the
quiet and contemplation of the holidays different from the quiet and
contemplation of other days - and to make it a celebration for everyone
involved.
Stopping,
resting, or celebrating in a purposeful,
thoughtful, healthy, re-creational manner is hard work.
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