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 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. (Psalm 32:8)

          Today’s passage is one that I need to return to often because I tend to be anxious about directions. It seems to me that I get lost so easily, even with a GPS. Long before GPSes were available, I wanted one. It was supposed to start a mile out with “turn left in one mile,” and work its way down to, “You missed the turn, stupid.”

          September 2015 was a hard month for me. I knew I was supposed to quit my job and come with Dad to Florida, but for me it was like God telling Abram to leave his home and to go a land he didn’t know. Last year was similar, because I returned to Florida without Dad, and had to figure out what to do. I got the place I’m in, and I’m starting to make it mine, but my resources are limited and I’m still trying to figure out what making it mine means. For some people, I think this all comes so easily.

          The point of trusting God is that we’re supposed to trust Him for every step along the way, and for the waits between the steps. And I know – positively know – that God has directed me many times, but the moment the way isn’t clear, I revert to my worry, and it’s not the worry that God won’t direct. I’m sure He’ll direct. I’m also pretty sure that I’ll miss the turn. If I was on the right road, wouldn’t life be going so much better?

          I know better. I really do know better. But knowing better doesn’t silence the whispering thoughts and emotions. As I consider today’s verse, however, the part that scream for attention is the last half, that God will counsel me with His loving eye on me.  Counsel. Not attack, badger, belittle, berate, bully, command, condemn, demean, or judge. He’ll do it with a loving eye on me.

          I read something about grace recently, and I find myself agreeing with the author. If I could really come to understand or to accept grace. If I could come to understand God’s love or to accept it even a little, it would probably revolutionize my life. As I look around, I don’t see anyone else who seems to have gotten these ideas either. That doesn’t give me the opportunity to pat myself on the back, but it does suggest that I should stop bludgeoning myself as if everyone has it right but me.  

          Some time ago, I think I wrote something about kids who go about being kids, playing, and doing things kids do comfortably in the presence of their parents. That’s the picture I see here. Our Father watches us, ready to step in to protect or correct, but the children are busy playing. They’re not worrying about whether their performance. They’re not worried about failure or whether they’re being irresponsible. They’re just playing.

          There is room for responsibility in a child’s life and in mine, but God is watching with a  loving eye. There’s also room for play.