And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
Yesterday, my pastor spoke about joy.
Of course, that fits nicely with my goals for my relationship with God. I want
to grow in faith, love, and joy. During the moments when I wasn’t asleep last
night and during my walk this morning, I thought about joy. Between what Dallas
Willard said, and what I’ve developed for myself joy is a firm conviction that
one is well-cared-for by someone who is capable of doing so. And yes, I know
God can meet all my needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus, but
like the father who said, “I believe! Help me in my unbelief,” I know it’s a
lot harder to live a life full of conviction that God will meet all our needs
than it is to believe He can.
I’ve told before of learning to fuel
my activities with the energy of anger. Whether it was because of this or
because of my upbringing, I eventually realized that I don’t tend to know how
to not fight, unless I closed down or ran away. It’s the old fight or flight
idea, but I tended toward the fight end, especially at work. There’s no
trusting involved in that. So now as I contemplate “firm conviction that God
can and will” the habits of a lifetime kick in at every opportunity. It’s like
I have to remind myself, “Oh yeah, I’m trusting God,” every ten seconds. It’s
not that there’s a constant crisis, but more like I’m trying to lift two-pound faith
weights so that when it comes time to lift five- or twenty-pound faith weights,
I’ve built up some strength. It’s like trying to get yourself to do with your
left hand what you’ve always done with your right.
But that’s what goals about yourself
and your relationships are often like. It’s not as simple as “take out the
garbage twice a week instead of once.” It’s about becoming a person who takes
out the garbage two, or three times per week without having to remember to do
it.
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