Neither Love Nor Faith

            Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. (I John 3:18)

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. (James 2:18)

There are memes that tell us that it doesn’t matter what you think or believe. All that matters is what you do. There are also memes that tell us that other people don’t need our minds when they’re going through a struggle. They just need for us to be there. The second reminds me of a scene from Harvey in which a psychiatrist tells Mr. Dowd that his dream is for someone to listen to him and pat him on the head, saying, “There, there” at appropriate intervals. I can’t think of a more demeaning way to treat someone.

Today’s passages don’t allow Christians to divide themselves that way. We aren’t to love with words or speech, but with actions and truth. That includes the uncomfortable truth - gently but firmly expressed. Yes, wisdom is needed to determine when a given piece of truth is best spoken. But love is not love if it lacks action. It is not love if it lacks truth. Faith is not faith if it lacks deeds.

In fact, deeds – including doing nothing – reveal love and faith. The question is not really whether we love or have faith, but what we love and what we have faith in. All of this brings to mind the Kubler-Ross model of grief. They suggest that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It isn’t that one begins with denial, works one’s way through to acceptance and everything is fine. It’s that those are all responses among which one can ricochet like a pinball. But the goal is to learn to live most of the time in acceptance. They also point out that acceptance isn’t “It’s OK.” It is “It is.” From there, one can begin to respond.

I have to wonder what help we could be to one another if we learned to recognize these stages in others. Even helping someone to identify where they are emotionally might help them understand that they aren’t trapped there. I know my own response to negative circumstances is “I’m going to be here through all eternity. There is no hope for anything better.” But things do change, and sometimes, it’s in the worst of circumstances that we can find good. As an example, I am thankful for COVID-19. I’m not thankful that people suffered or died, but it was because of COVID that I determined to become more competent and resourceful. I have learned more, done more, created more, and lived more since the outbreak than I can remember doing at any time in my life.

My purpose in saying this is not to impress you with what an amazing person I am. My point is that we can move from “woe is me” to “God is good.” We can help them to find joy in the  midst of troubles – and to leave them in the midst of troubles by a prolonged policy  of “being there” is neither love nor faith.