Skip to main content

More Ready

             And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, (Exodus 34:6) 

            Almighty and everlasting God, you are always more ready to hear than we are to pray, and to give than we either desire or deserve: Pour upon your church the abundance of your mercy, forgiving us those things which our conscience is afraid, and giving us those good things for which we are not worthy to ask, except through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever, Amen. (Tickle, Phyllis, Divine Hours: Prayers for Autumn and Wintertime, New York, NY: Doubleday Publishers, 2000, p 26.)

 

            I’m starting to go through a book called, Divine Hours: Prayers for Autumn and Winter by Phyllis Tickle. It’s set up like the liturgy of the monastery, with prayers for morning, noon, evening, and (I’ve just discovered) compline, which  takes place before retiring for the night. This is an old concept, but it’s a discipline I have not used and I’m struggling with just how to practice it.

            But, one of the prayers for this week is the second passage above, and my reaction to this prayer is discomfort. My natural tendency is to see God as an excellent administrator and judge. It’s not that He’s not compassionate, but that it’s part of His job description. He does it naturally and because it’s necessary, not because He enjoys it. It’s sort of like holding a door open for someone. I’ll do it, and I don’t resent doing it, but at the same time, I don’t get up in the morning with the goal of seeing how many times I can hold the door open for someone that day. I don’t tend to peek out my window, rubbing my hands in anticipation of helping someone. It just seems odd to think of God as eagerly anticipating hearing, giving, and forgiving.

            Part of my issue with this is undoubtedly my struggles with “Not Good Enough.” When I pray, I tend to pray with a measure of desperation that I find it difficult to imagine God being other than disappointed. Ready to help? Yes, but not happy about having to listen to me whine and watch me fail to live up to my expectation of His expectations of me.

            So in addition to praying through the prayer above, I find myself continuing in my theme of “Open my eyes.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The List

              Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,   through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;   perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)           Think about it. We have been justified. At least, we could be justified if we stopped insisting that our justification be based on our merits. We have peace with God, or could have peace if we stopped throwing temper tantrums. We have gained access into grace i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Listen!

  While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” (Matthew 17:5)            Do you like roller coasters? I don't. You spend forever climbing a hill. You get to the top and have half a second, then you race down to a low point. Sometimes the racing down involves tying your insides into knots. At the bottom, you either have to be dragged up another hill or you get off the ride. Peter's life was a roller coaster from the time he met Jesus. There would be miracles, and then Jesus would teach things that didn't always make sense, and then they'd go out and perform miracles, and return to be taught. Peter was praised for giving the right answer to "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus said that said answer came from God. Peter was at the top of the hill.            ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Prayer Lists

                 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. (I Peter 2:2-3)   In connection with what I wrote yesterday about the possibility that I’m wrong, I’m feeling the need to go back to basics - craving spiritual milk because somehow, I missed something. It’s a little embarrassing, craving milk like a newborn, but the truth probably is that we are newborns many times in many ways in our lives. From God’s perspective, we may never be anything more than newborns, forever needing that milk. On the other hand, being a newborn can also be exciting because so much is new. My mind is playing pinball - ricocheting from one idea to the next and through six more before it happens to hit the third again. The main topic is prayer. I have at least seven organizing structures all somewhat influenced by the movie War Room , which I’v...
Post a Comment
Read more