“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19:18)
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector…
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:15-17, 21-22)
I
didn’t choose this verse. Biblegateway.com did. I’m hesitant to write about it
because I don’t want to feel like I’m seeking revenge or bearing a grudge, and
I don’t want to be accused of doing so. The truth is that any of us could come
up with lots of examples of people who have done us wrong. You might write
about me, and I might write about you. Dallas Willard wrote about hatred
involving attack, withdrawal, or a combination of the two. He defined love as
seeking what is in the best interest of the object, so hatred is seeking what
is not in the best interest - or what is harmful - to the object.
Of
course, the Bible makes it clear in many places that we’re to love one another
and not to hate one another, so those who want to sound pious claim they “don’t
like” someone or that “nobody likes” the person as they either shove the person
away or walk away. Or they say something about “church discipline.” I’m not
saying there isn’t a place and time for stepping away from someone, but it’s
not the first step, or even the second. According to Jesus, it’s the fourth, or
maybe the seventy-either, or possibly even seventy time seven (depending on the
translation you’re reading.)
More
importantly, whether we like a person is irrelevant in our treatment of them.
We are commanded to love them, which means acting in their best interests. “Nobody
likes you” simply is not a Biblical excuse that frees us from having to love
the person. It’s just a self-righteous euphemism for “I hate you.”
Of
course, we do this because we’re fallen human beings. Fight or flight are two
basic responses to what we don’t like. Love isn’t. But God isn’t calling us to be like everyone else. He’s calling us
to be like Him.
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