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Love Is Love?

             And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. (I John 4:16)

I seem to like to gripe about definitions. As a friend put it, “words matter” to me. Today’s passage is a great example. I’ve defined “love” before. If you’ve been alive over the past decade, you’ll have encountered some statement of “love is love.” Is it?

When you ask people why they love someone, you may hear things like “He makes me laugh,” or “he makes me feel good” or even “chemistry.” Would the people who made that claim say that they love that person like they love their favorite food? Would they love that person the way they love their pets, parents, siblings, or children? Would they stay in love with that person if he/she said, “no sex until after we’re married?” There are at least four words for love in Greek, so is all love the same? Clearly, it isn’t. Sometimes, love is acquisitiveness, greed, ambition, or lust. Sometimes, “love” means submitting to manipulation. “If you loved me, you would…”

  If, as today’s passage stipulates, God is the definition of love or the exemplar of it. If love is love, then no love can be love – according to the Bible- unless it is consistent with God’s behavior. So, let’s put this in really nasty terms. If your beloved cheats on you, multiple times, and you don’t forgive, you don’t love. That doesn’t mean you necessarily end up together with that beloved, but that can be a result. If your relationship is about your enjoyment at your beloved’s expense, it’s not love. If, in short, your “love” is what the world calls “love,” it probably isn’t love. If you are willing to break your marriage vows, it's not love.

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