A Noble Wife

           A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:10-12)

          According to the description at the beginning of this chapter, this may be part of what Lemuel’s mother taught him. It makes sense, because a mother generally wants her son to marry a good woman. If Lemuel had a sister, I’m willing to bet that his mother told her, “A husband of noble character who can find? His worth is far more than rubies. His wife has full confidence in him and lacks nothing of value. He brings her good, not harm, all the days of his life.” Given our culture, I’d use “diamonds” instead of rubies, but you get the point.

          So, as we approach the new year and consider what God might want to do in our lives, this is a good place to start: that rare and endangered entity known as a noble character. What defines a noble character? In today’s passage it is someone in whom you can have full confidence. This isn’t to say that the person can’t and won’t fail, but that he or she won’t “not bother to try.” He/she is likely to try repeatedly.

          The second descriptor is that he/she lacks nothing of value. This one is tricky, because what one person values, another may not. The noble person won’t provide for the spouse what will harm or devalue the spouse or their relationship. Within healthy boundaries, the noble person may even try to provide valuable things mission in the spouse’s life like self-control, courage, hope, joy, generosity, etc.

          The third descriptor is that the noble person brings good, not evil, all the days of the spouse’s life. Having already discussed the issue of “good, not evil,” what remains here is the time period. The noble person does not stop seeking to bring good and not evil for as long as the spouse is alive. It might even be reasoned that the noble person doesn’t seek to bring evil even after the spouse dies. The noble person’s behavior is not dependent on the behavior of the spouse. If the spouse commits adultery, gets a divorce, commits murder, etc., the noble person will still bring good.

          Please hear me out on this one. I am not suggesting that the noble person condone, excuse, ignore, or act as an accessory to bad behavior. A noble person could seek a divorce, or turn the murderer in to the police and even testify at the trial, then proceed to visit the murderer in prison. The noble person does what is good for the spouse – not what the spouse wants, but what is good – and keeps doing what is good regardless of the spouse’s behavior – to the extent that they can. If the  spouse is a danger to children, the noble person does what is necessary to keep the spouse away from the children, but that does not mean the noble person stops seeking what is actually good for the spouse.

          Need it be said that the same is true of a  noble parent, child, neighbor, employee, citizen, etc?