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Hemmed In

             You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:5)

Over the summer, I concluded that God was telling me to sell my place in Florida and return to Erie year-round. Before I left for Florida in the fall with this purpose in mind, I said that if this was really God’s will (and not just His will), I would be home before the end of October. Had I been thinking more clearly—and had I not decided to go visit my sister—I would have been.

In a sense, I think God was hemming me in behind. Since I came home, little things seem to be in the way of moving forward the way I’d like. Most of them have been little. Friday, it started snowing, and honestly, I wasn’t as prepared as I would have been. Understand this. I’m coping. I have food, water, heat, and electricity. I don’t have a functional snowblower, a cooperative body with the strength I want it to have, and the “permission” to drive anywhere. That also means I can’t call someone to come fix my snowblower. In other words, I’m hemmed in before. I suspect the “you lay your hand upon me” is also a form of restraint.

People have asked me whether – given 27oF and more than 22 inches of snow on Friday plus threats of as much as four more feet by Tuesday – I wish I hadn’t sold my place in Florida. I don’t regret selling it. I wish things here were different from the way they are, but Florida isn’t the answer. What I want is wisdom, direction, and attitude. In my mind, direction doesn’t include “Sit. Stay.”



I find that I am like my dog. She has been going outside and looking at the snow, which you’ll note in the picture is so high on the fence that if she could walk on the snow, she could just step over the fence and be free. I’m looking for a way to escape the fence God has put around me. Fortunately for me, the snow doesn’t hold her weight yet. I don’t see any escape route that tempts me. I suppose I’m not quite as foolish as Grace. I recognize that anywhere I considered a haven from the challenges here would only be replaced by the challenges of where I run.

 But if escape isn’t the answer when God hems one in, what is? The place to begin is with God. Prayerfully seek answers. Have you done something wrong? Is something wrong? Listen to what He tells you. And do you hear the theme music swelling in the background? Because another answer is to “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are, now.” A third answer is, “Not my will, but thine…” 

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