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Valley of the Shadow of Doubt


                Abraham pitched his tent in the land he was promised, and lived there for years without any of it becoming his. We know that he had doubts and "concerns" because he voiced them. I've been wandering around in the land of words, pitching my writer's tent in articles, stories, and poetry. In each I feel like a stranger. The words flow from my finger tips onto the screen only to be deleted. "Garbage!" my inner critic hisses.

                Such is the life of a writer, I know. I also know that my inner critic is wrong. At least, I think it is wrong. The writing may not be good, but the ideas are. I find myself in a valley of the shadow of doubt. As a shadow, it is not the real doubt, but an insubstantial quantum thing with distorted shape. There are no specifics, and nothing with which to grapple. It is in one place, then another. It dissipates and divides only to reform again. Its reality is in its absence of reality. Light reveals it to be nothing.  

                A true doubt is rare. They tend to be solitary beasts that stand in the road and refuse to give way. As such, they can be examined. A weakness can be found with which they can be forced out of the way. Shadows of doubt are not like this. They travel in packs and even as one, riding the air  and flowing along the ground seeking prey. When someone wanders from well-known paths, or separates from those who support and encourage, the shadows attack - as insubstantial as a thought but with the toxic touch that melts resolve and reduces a soul to shadow and ash.

                The antidotes to the shadow of doubt are light and faith. Faith cannot do it by itself.  Faith without fact is fancy, and faith without works, is dead. Our faith, then, must be in what has been revealed already- in what we know to be true, and we must continue to walk in it even when shadows hide the way.

         This is my lesson today in Mission Faithwalk - that I must continue what I have begun. He has guided before. He has not allowed me to miss my way so far. I guess that means I have some work to finish today - a next step to take. So, with a deep breath - it is done. One e-mail, with one article. It is well-written. It shares a truth that can help people. It is at least possible that the person to whom I have sent it is looking for, hoping for, and waiting for it and will be delighted to receive it.

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