Skip to main content

Out Of Control


We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with that the law is good. As it is, is it no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do -- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but  it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:14-20)

          I hate to be out of control, and I feel out of control almost all the time. It’s not quite as bad when my surroundings are a pit chaotic, if I’m not looking for something. What really bothers me is the internal. Much of my internal life either looks like a hurricane is blowing through, or someone’s monkeys got loose, and I think they’re the type with wings.
         I want to maintain a healthy weight, be kind and helpful to my father and everyone else I meet, to love well and to do what’s right. Then Dad says “Get us some sliders and shakes for dinner.” Then there are the times when someone makes a decision that has a major influence on my life and plans without consulting me. There’s nothing worse than someone else taking me off the throne of my out-of-control life, even what that someone else is me.
         Can you relate to Paul as well as I can? I want to do good. I don’t want to do bad…but there I go again. I often complain to God, “I’ve got to get a grip,” and He has said more than once, “No, you don’t. You need to let go.” So I struggle, and sometimes let go a little bit, and I think I’m getting worse but the truth is that God is at work.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"Especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Gal 6:10)   “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.   By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)           Joshua grinned when he saw Rex standing by the door, studying something on the ground. "Hey, man! Are we ready to do this thing?"          Rex looked up. "Josh, I can't do it. We're still best buds, but I can't stand your fiancée."           I've met "Rex" many times. I've been Rex. Joshua (Jesus) loves the Church. He's not a fool. He knows the Church is far from perfect, but she is His chosen bride. The Rexes of this world, who think themselves His friend, turn away from her. "You don't need the Church to...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ssssssubmmissssssionnn

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ . (Ephesians 5:21)             "Ssssssubmmisssssssionnn." Can't you just hear the serpent hissing this most horrible of words? If you listen to the serpent or the world, submission means groveling, allowing yourself to be abused, denying yourself your own humanity. Nothing could be worse than submission, could it?             Submission has never been a problem for me, as long as things are going the way I want them to. The rest of the time? Well, let's just say that while I don't know how to fight physically, I don't know how to not fight mentally. One of the fights I've been having with myself for years is about submission.             My first breakthrough took place on a trip to a bookstore. As I walked into the store, my thoughts were very clear. 1) I was goi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shark Fins, Triple Dog Dares, Heroes, Villains and Sidekicks

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)            There's a scene in Jaws in which someone sees a shark fin and starts a panic. As   all the swimmers scramble to shore, boats surround the fin, which falls over to reveal two kids. With several guns pointed at them, one of the kids points at the other. The message is clear: it was his idea. In Christmas Story, there's a scene in which one kid "triple dog dares" another to do something stupid. Since it's a triple dog dare, well, what choice does the boy have? There doesn't seem to be any end to the trouble that peer pressure can cause. ...
Post a Comment
Read more