The wise fear the Lord and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure. (Proverbs 14:16)
Not long ago in yet another conversation from two sides of a divide, the person with whom I was debating said some things that really didn’t make sense and started being less than polite. I think someone (maybe he) deleted the discussion. Later, someone else noted that he’d been “triggered.” Apparently, I trigger people, because this isn’t the first time it’s happened. Several years ago, someone who didn’t seem to mind the notion that he might end up in hell (he didn’t believe it exists) flipped out when I pointed out that if his five-year-old daughter followed in his footsteps, she would end up there, too. It’s simple logic. It’s Newton’s Law. Objects in motion continue in motion in the same direction and at the same speed until or unless something interferes. I think he was very calculated in his triggering. It was the planned response meant to force me to back down from a claim rather than of true hurt or outrage. I've found others like him, whose anger and attack seem about as real as the man in the Moon.
The most recently triggered gentleman and I apologized to one another for that part of our behavior that was less than acceptable. In general, though, being triggered seems to me to mean losing one’s temper, which, of course, the only do because the other person refuses to see “reason.” But, do you notice the way we talk about it? “BEING triggered.” It’s like “being murdered,” or “being fifty-six.” It’s passive. There’s nothing they can do about it. It happens to them, and when it happens to them, they get aggressive. Not their fault, even if they apologize for their behavior in that state. It’s out of their control. It’s not their fault. Either it’s the result of having been a victim, or they're identifying with a victim, or it’s the fault of the terrible person who triggered them. Here’s the problem. If you read about Narcissism, or about the narcissist’s technique known as gaslighting, you’ll find that the narcissist is either hero or victim, never the villain. If you read about abusive people, the abuser is never at fault. The person being abused is to blame, or the abuser’s parents, or, or, or… but not the fault of the hothead. No, they are quite secure about that. They are even secure in their insecurity because it’s not their fault. But don’t expect reciprocation on that concept.
The most recently triggered gentleman and I apologized to one another for that part of our behavior that was less than acceptable. In general, though, being triggered seems to me to mean losing one’s temper, which, of course, the only do because the other person refuses to see “reason.” But, do you notice the way we talk about it? “BEING triggered.” It’s like “being murdered,” or “being fifty-six.” It’s passive. There’s nothing they can do about it. It happens to them, and when it happens to them, they get aggressive. Not their fault, even if they apologize for their behavior in that state. It’s out of their control. It’s not their fault. Either it’s the result of having been a victim, or they're identifying with a victim, or it’s the fault of the terrible person who triggered them. Here’s the problem. If you read about Narcissism, or about the narcissist’s technique known as gaslighting, you’ll find that the narcissist is either hero or victim, never the villain. If you read about abusive people, the abuser is never at fault. The person being abused is to blame, or the abuser’s parents, or, or, or… but not the fault of the hothead. No, they are quite secure about that. They are even secure in their insecurity because it’s not their fault. But don’t expect reciprocation on that concept.
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