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Not Personal


            Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (I Timothy 5:1-2)

          “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)

          This is an idea I need to build into my life better than I have, especially on social media. I tend to respond to an idea, not to the person who has expressed it. Some folks think I’m a troll, that I seek out people to harass and lurk on their walls, waiting for them to say something so I can attack them. The reality is that I’ve probably posted my response to what they said before I bother to look to see who said it. I may not even bother with the question, “Who shared it?”
          On the other side of the coin, since I pay more attention to what is said rather than who said it, I probably do exhort older men as if he were my father, younger men as brothers, older women as others, and younger women as sisters, but that doesn’t mean I’m treating them better than I would if they weren’t family.
          The other problem is that when I’m addressing the what and not the who, I tend to do it right then and there, online, in public, rather than messaging them. I keep telling myself I should message them instead, but it doesn’t happen because that involves dealing with the messenger, not just the message.
          The second problem is that I tend to do these things as a solo performance. I don’t go get elders from the church to join me in an intervention. I don’t make the first round private and I don’t follow through because it’s not about the person. It’s not personal. It should be.

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