Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. (Luke 23:34)
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.”
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:12-15)
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
In 2006, Charles Carl Roberts IV took ten Amish girls in a one-room schoolhouse in West Nickel Mines, PA hostage, and ultimately shot eight of them before committing suicide. In response, the emphasis of the Amish community was on forgiveness and reconciliation, caring for the wife and family Mr. Roberts left behind.
Corrie TenBoom, her sister, and her father were put in concentration camps because they helped Jews escape the Nazis. Her father and sister died in the camps. After the war, she preached forgiveness. And one day, a guard from the camp who had been especially hateful walked up, stuck out his hand and asked for the forgiveness of which she preached.
It’s hard to understand how anyone could do the evil things we hear about. How could anyone kneel on the neck of another human being for nine minutes? How could three other cops (even rookie cops) stand by and let it happen, or even help? How could anyone think that such behavior justified killing other people, or burning down and looting businesses in their neighborhood. In one Chicago neighborhood, the looters took all the food that would be available to the residents in the area. How can anyone understand these things?
How can we forgive crimes committed against us, our loved ones (even if that loved one has no clue we exist), or someone with whom we identify? It’s not easy. As a toddler, I was – to my mind – abandoned by my parents. It wasn’t true, but to my mind, it was. Later, when I felt I needed their protection, my parents came to my aid, and left saying that they were sorry, but they couldn’t do anything about the situation .I would just have to cope. It took years for me to work through being abandoned twice.
The sins committed against me weren’t anything like the sins committed against the Amish community, or Corrie TenBoom, or any of probably billions of others throughout history, including Jesus Christ, who was mocked, beaten, and crucified for crimes He had never committed.
In the past couple months, 39 million Americans had their jobs taken from them by gubernatorial decree in the governor’s attempts to “do something” to stop the spread of COVID-19. My guess is that 120 million people have been adversely affected by decisions that this job or that wasn’t “essential.” Some of them rose up in anger and took their protests to the government, and were verbally attacked for endangering the lives of people who were nowhere near the protests.
A little over a week ago, an evil man who happened to wear a cop’s uniform killed another man by kneeling on his throat for 9 minutes. At least thirteen Black people have been killed in the violence following that murder. Neighborhoods where the population is mostly Black, and businesses run by Black proprietors were destroyed and looted. And when asked about this, the Black community doesn’t ask forgiveness, it demands exoneration, or claims self-defense, and it proclaims that it can never forgive. Curiously, I also know or have read things written by Black individuals like Frederick Douglass[1] and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.[2] that show me that it is not only possible for the Black community to forgive – but that parts of it have done so.
Part of the problem is a lack of understanding about what forgiveness is. Some think it means saying that the harm wasn’t done or doesn’t matter. Some think it means that the person who did the harm is allowed to walk away without accountability for the crime/sin. Some think it means that the pain goes way. Some believe that it can only be given if the one responsible confesses, repents, and pays restitution or recompense – even recompense far in excess of the crime.
Forgiveness is none of those things. Forgiveness is removing the chains that bind the victim to the crime and the criminal. It’s letting go of the crime/sin, turning one’s back on 1) revenge and 2) becoming just like the criminal in one’s hatred of the criminal. Forgiveness is a required step to solve the problems our society faces. Without forgiveness on all sides, there is no hope for anything but more pain and hatred.
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