When I said, “My foot is
slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
(Psalm 94:18)
Consolation. I don’t think I’ve explored that con-word. The
dictionary says that it comes from con- (with, intensifier) and solari (to
comfort.) Comfort is another con-word, which comes from con- (with,
intensifier) and -fort (strength.)
Consolation, then, is an act of being with someone in a way
that brings strength.
In the past, kindness has been defined as lending someone
your strength, time, talent, or treasure. Both consoling and comforting are
acts of kindness in which you lend the person your strength. That strength
could include the insight that they have the strength they need to face what
they’re facing, but only if that’s the truth and not a cop-out on your part.
This is another place where wisdom (understanding the other
person and their needs) is useful. Consolation is not meant to cause the person
to behave in a way you prefer. It’s not mean to make you feel good about what a
wonderful person you are. It’s meant to give the other person a weapon – and to
use that weapon for that person until they can resume their place in the
battle.
And once again, joy is the confidence that someone actively
and effectively cares for you. The consolation, not the end of the struggle, is
the source of joy. Those who claim there should be no struggles are denying the
rest of us an opportunity for joy, and an opportunity to give joy to someone
else.
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