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Consolation

 

When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. (Psalm 94:18)

          Consolation. I don’t think I’ve explored that con-word. The dictionary says that it comes from con- (with, intensifier) and solari (to comfort.) Comfort is another con-word, which comes from con- (with, intensifier) and -fort (strength.)

          Consolation, then, is an act of being with someone in a way that brings strength.

          In the past, kindness has been defined as lending someone your strength, time, talent, or treasure. Both consoling and comforting are acts of kindness in which you lend the person your strength. That strength could include the insight that they have the strength they need to face what they’re facing, but only if that’s the truth and not a cop-out on your part.

          This is another place where wisdom (understanding the other person and their needs) is useful. Consolation is not meant to cause the person to behave in a way you prefer. It’s not mean to make you feel good about what a wonderful person you are. It’s meant to give the other person a weapon – and to use that weapon for that person until they can resume their place in the battle.

          And once again, joy is the confidence that someone actively and effectively cares for you. The consolation, not the end of the struggle, is the source of joy. Those who claim there should be no struggles are denying the rest of us an opportunity for joy, and an opportunity to give joy to someone else.

            At the same time, those who seek consolation in other people are doomed to disappointment, because only the Lord is capable of the best consolation.

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