Helping

 

 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.  As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. (Exodus 17:10-12)

  Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ… Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. (Galatians 6:2 & 4-5)

          How do you help others? I tried to find something about how various personality types help people, but I couldn’t find anything. It seems to me that my way of helping tends to be to take over, at least if I know how to do it. I do for instead of doing with. I tried reversing the question: how do I want to be helped? My main answers are that I want someone to come do things I don’t want to do so I can do things I want to do. Come clean my house so I can write a story, or watch a British mystery show, or whatever. Or, teach me how to do it. A third way is to come sit with me while I do it and keep me company. The problem with this third way is that it can distract me from my doing, so it’s not really helpful.

          No matter how I look at it, I don’t come up with what is in today’s passage. I’m a “hands off” person when it comes to people, so helping them by touching them isn’t me. I do it if I have to, but it’s not my preference. No, if I had been Aaron or Hur, my thought would have been to tag team the staff. Moses holds it for X minutes, then Aaron holds it, then Hur holds it. Effectiveness. Efficiency! I have to wonder if they didn’t try that and discovered that God only gave the battle to the Israelites if Moses held the staff.

          As frustrating as this may seem to us, there’s a truth involved. Each one must carry his own load. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do (whether the man is male or female.) Holding up the staff was Moses’ job. We need wisdom here, as we find someone with tired arms, or a broken heart, or no motivation. How do we bear one another’s burden while they carry their own load? How do we determine when we’re supposed to hold up their hands as they hold up their staff, and when we’re supposed to take the staff and hold it up for them?

          One thought that comes to mind is that we are never to do their job for them. If Aaron or Hur had held the staff, Moses would have been superfluous. By holding up his hands, they maintained his dignity and honor as the leader of the Jews. They helped him do what he needed to do. How can we do this? The first step probably involves changing the focus from the problem to the person. That will be a tough one for me. It’s where I failed miserably with Dad.