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Brother and Sister

           Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:21-22)

          For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matthew 12:50)


           This is easy because we all live in such stable, healthy, functional families, right? I heard that. Maybe it was just my own snort, not yours. Have I “been there” for my sister? Was I ever there for my brother? OK, I was certainly around when each of my parents died, but was my care for them, or was it to show what a good, caring, dutiful daughter I was? And if (heaven forbid!) members of my family were of a different religious or political affiliation – or more different than they were, what then? Did I love them, or did I love my reflection in them?

          I’m not saying I am a terrible, unloving person. I’m a busy person, trying to live my own life, dealing with my own problems. I can’t possibly live theirs, too – and they wouldn’t want me to. I’m not suggesting we should be co-dependent … just a little reflective occasionally, and honest with ourselves and them as often as possible. God will forgive, even if they won’t. Grace is abundant and available. Improvement is possible. Reconciliations do happen. Look at Joseph.

          Of course, loving family is tougher than just about any other love except spousal. The betrayals, negligence, abandonments, lies, and secrets strike deeper somehow. Years of close living wear us raw when they should build our callouses. But for the Church, one’s brother or sister may not have the same parents, live in the same household, or even have the same culture as you do. “Who is my brother?” and, “Who is my sister?” are like the question asked by the lawyer, “Who is my neighbor?”  

In today’s second passage, Jesus tells us that those who do God’s will are our brothers and sisters. So, the street person may be your brother or sister and have a claim to your love, as might the wealthy businessman in the fancy house. The person you declare to be a hypocrite may be a brother or sister Scripture obligates you to love. In fact, because you don’t know whether some person is a brother or a sister, or because the person might a brother or sister in spiritual Utero (not yet born again but gestating spiritually) Scripture suggests that you love them anyway, just in case.

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