Little children, let’s not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. (I John 3:18)
Some people have an advantage when it comes to loving
people. They like people. They enjoy being around them. They are energized by
their interactions with people. It’s easier to love when you like and enjoy. It’s
also a disadvantage, because sometimes it’s hard to tell whether you’re
actually loving the person, or merely enjoying them. Are you giving to them, or
feeding off of them through the energy you get from being around people?
Other people have an advantage when it comes to loving
people. They really aren’t all that fond of people. They may, in fact, dislike
them. People exhaust them. Love takes an act of will. The disadvantage these
folks have is that they can mistake doing for loving. How many of the 156
things they did for others was truly for others, and how many were done because
doing things makes one feel successful, powerful, or loving? How much of the
doing is a reward in itself? Or, how much is “good deeds” that make you look good
to God?
Doing good for or to others produces serotonin, which makes
us feel good. That fact means that God is not opposed to our feeling good about
doing good. It would be ridiculous to suggest that the only love that has any
value is a love that makes us miserable for the benefit of the other. But every once in a while, it’s useful to consider
what we’re actually doing, and whether our love is really love in deed or in truth, or if
we’re just calling it love because it makes us look or feel good.
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