Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
Therefore go and make disciples of all
nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of
the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded
you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)
Both passages feel the same to me. “Go. Do the
impossible. I am with you.” The thing is, I’m a terrible coward. Oh, there are
things that terrify other people that I do without batting an eyelash. But when
it comes to living life, finding a job, selling something that matters to me
(like myself or my books), I want to find a rock and crawl under it. The spiders
that might be there are probably less of a terror than doing those things – at least
until I find said spiders.
The thing is, if you’re not afraid, doing the
thing doesn’t take being strong and courageous. You know this. You walk into
the bathroom, you squeeze chemicals onto
a bristled stick and scrub up and down and in small circles, spit the chemicals
and saliva into the sink – you might rinse your mouth out some more, but the
point is that putting chemicals into your mouth in that situation causes you no
qualms. There’s nothing to be afraid of. If I were to sit across the table from you and
offer you iocane poison in a glass of wine, you would probably not drink it (unless you knew that iocane powder is a
fictitious substance.) And if I gave you a cyanide pill, you would not only fear
the pill, but me.
It’s only when we’re afraid that we need to have
courage or to be strong. And it doesn’t matter how little fear the thing in
question causes you. It takes courage to
overcome fear. We’re also told that love overcomes fear. Love and courage may
not be the same thing, but I suspect they’re a team. Mama may be a timid sort,
but you threaten her kids, and look out! Love not only produces courage, it
requires courage.
These are things I’m trying to keep in mind as I prepare
to head north. I’m allowed to feel fear. But my response must be courage.
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