When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive… Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost. “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you. You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments. (Proverbs 23:1-3 & 6-8)
Blessed is the one who does not walk in
step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in
the company of mockers, (Psalm 1:1)
These
verses are so similar. The verse from Psalm 1 (I’m told) shows a progression of
comfort. We are advised not to grow in our comfort with the wicked, the sinful,
or the mocking. In Proverbs 23, we’re warned about the people we associate with. In that culture and time, eating with someone generally either
involved association and partnership, or manipulation and entrapment. Think
about Haman in the story of Esther. He went to dinner thinking he had
achieved his dreams, only to discover that he had been set up. In other words,
dinners are times of supposed alliance. That means they are also times when
enemies are often made.
These
passages both suggest that we should not let ourselves be taken in by people
who sound like they’re on our side but who might be seeking some advantage over
us. It’s not only about food, of course. This is one of my difficulties with
politicians. They shower you with praise, food, promises, or whatever,
and later, you discover your error. If you’re going to “dine” with someone who might
be using you, do what you can to not give him leverage. It makes good
sense. You don’t give someone power over
you unless you know he can be trusted.
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