The Sound of Our Grinding Teeth

             But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:42-44)

Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. ⁴ On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. ⁵ He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.”

Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?”

“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.

“The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”

Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together. (Genesis 22:3-8)

“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.” (Esther 4:16)

Sometimes, it seem as if we see people in the Bible in what might be consider a hagiographic way. We imagine them doing what God commands them to do without a care in the world.  You might say they have a “La Dee Da” attitude. The widow tosses all she has to live on into the treasury box. Abraham takes Isaac up the mountain. Esther goes to inconvenience the king. There are lots of other examples. Then, every now and again, God throws in a Job, a Jonah, or a Jeremiah to show us how it shouldn’t be done.

What if the widow, Abraham, and Esther weren’t as sanguine as we like to think? If our attitudes aren’t exactly “sweetness and light” but we’re determined to be obedient, does grace soften or cover the sound of our grinding teeth?

This brings me back to an oft’ told story about walking/jogging at Wintergreen Gorge Cemetery, which is on the side of a hill. Jogging down the hill was fun. All the way across the bottom, I would grouse, “I don’wanna!”

After weeks/months of this, God said, “OK, you don’t have to. But are you gonna?”

And I set my teeth and said, “Yes,” and trudged up. Over, and over again.

Sometimes, our emotions and thoughts aren’t what we think they should be if we’re going to please the Lord. Sometimes, it’s hard but we think we have to lie to God, to others, and to ourselves in order to be “good.” What if the struggle is more significant than the thing we’re struggling with? What if the whole point is Pogo’s statement that we have met the enemy, and he is us? What if the things that are easy for us to do, or easy for us to trust God with aren’t really the sign of our growth as people or Christians?