Friends

             I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my father, I have made known to you. (John 15:15)

          I don’t understand this verse. It seems to me that servants often know more about what’s going on than anyone else in the household. Even if they only know one small step in their masters’ business process, they know that much. But, this much of it makes sense: an average servant would not likely to be invited into the confidence of the master as the master’s friends were. The rest of it, I put down to my cultural ignorance.

          The issue here, however, is not how servants were not treated, but how friends were and, more importantly, that Jesus was declaring His disciples to be His friends. How does God see us? If we are walking with Him and learning from Him, if we are His disciples, then He says He has called us “Friends.”

          I’m not very good at being friends. I’m not even good at having acquaintances. I’m reading a book about communication that says that some people (generally men) tend to think of relationships in terms of hierarchies, while others (generally women) tend to think of relationships in terms of intimacy or closeness. In reality, we can be the same and close, we can be the same and distant, or we can be different and close, or different and distant.

When it comes to God, by definition, we are different, and even if we think more in terms of intimacy, that still irks. That was the problem in the Garden of Eden. Eve and Adam wanted to be “like God.” It’s no more possible than being like a giant squid or Jupiter, but that was the problem. But it’s only if we’re willing to live with God being God and us not that we can have a friendship with Him. And that is also the circumstance in which God is likely to move toward us or reduce the hierarchical distance by condescension.

Even that understanding doesn’t give a complete picture because there are always nuances. There’s what God means when He says “friend” and what you mean when you say “friend” and what you really mean. And what you really mean or even say may change from one moment to the next. There are times when “friend” to me seems to mean the knight in shining armor (who is also master of many other skills) who shows up, fixes whatever needs to be fixed, then rides off into the sunset until the next problem comes along. Closely related to that is the coconspirator or creative buddy who helps me be creative or crafty in one way or another. Sometimes, the coconspirator idea involves letting me in to an inner circle (that may be just we, two) and sharing insights, ideas, and plans. And God can fill any of those roles, but that doesn’t mean that’s what He means by “friend.”

What are your ideas of God as a friend?