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He Knows

             You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. (Psalm139:1-6)

Today’s passage includes my favorite verse about how God sees me. In my imagination, I see God (indistinctly, of course) sitting on His throne doing His God-thing. Suddenly, He raises a finger and says something like, “Hold on a sec. Karen’s thinking a thought and I want to listen.” I know that’s not Biblical. God doesn’t have to interrupt His “God-thing” to listen. But the point is that He perceives my thoughts.

He has searched me. Not searched for me, but searched me. That’s more than a little intimate and scary. He knows me. He knows the lies I tell myself, the lies I tell others, and the truth. He knows what I’m doing and why. He knows what I think, what I think I believe, and what I really believe. Before I make a claim or an excuse, He knows it.

I’ve used this idea before, but I’ll take it up a notch. I am (we are) like a frightened, cornered or trapped animal, struggling, snapping, and screaming. He blocks any escape route and carefully wraps His arms around us because, for all our imagined prowess, we are harmless to Him. And then, He lays His hand on our head or back, and begins to stroke, telling us with soft words and soft touches that we are safe. He will feed us, warm us, bind up our wounds, and give us somewhere safe to rest.

Sometimes, animals (and we) respond quickly and almost instinctively to a rescuer. Sometimes, it takes time. I had a dog who never got over being afraid, and if someone touched her without speaking to her (so she knew you were there), she would panic and defend herself until she realized who was there and that there was no threat. Sometimes, we’re like her.

As I noted yesterday, this is one of my favorite passages about God’s view of me because I have seen it from both sides.

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