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Gritted Teeth: Personal Note


                Tonight, Jerry Jenkins' Writer's Guild had a question and answer session. No matter what kind of work session we have, my reaction to the material is the same: dismay. I can't build the readers necessary to earn a publisher's respect. I can't write commercially. I can't, I can't, I can't. And then I look at my computer screen and see the tab for my blog: Mission: Faithwalk. It's based on "Mission: Impossible." It's about doing what can't be done. It's about moving forward when I don't know where I'm going or how to get there. Over the past several months, I've been asking God to cause my ministry to grow... me, those whose lives it touches, and itself so it can do more of the other two.

                Of course, the problem with asking for something to cause me to grow is that growth, especially in faith, is hard work. And that takes me back to the "But I can't" part of the cycle.  I've told the story too many times to know whether I told it in this blog - but years ago I was jogging around Wintergreen George Cemetery. Like many cemeteries, it's built on the side of a hill. I'd get to the bottom and whine, "God, I don'wannnna."

                 One day, God said, "OK, you don't have to." I don't think He gave me a chance to recover from my shock (I don't have to? Really?) before He asked, "But are you gonna?"

                 I gritted my teeth, said, "Yeah" and jogged back up the hill, only to repeat my whine as I got to the bottom again. I suspect the same policy applies here, even if the words are different.

                "I caaaan't."

                "You don't have to. You can give up, walk away... but are you going to walk by faith, trusting that I can do what you cannot, trusting that I will guide you through a path that will get you where you are going? Are you gonna jog up this hill?"

                I wonder if it's progress that I'm not gritting my teeth.

Comments

  1. Nice post, Karen. Walking in Faith is often painful, more so when we have to stretch out of our comfort zone. Thanks for reminding that others have doubts too.

    TimothyH

    ReplyDelete

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