Tonight, Jerry Jenkins' Writer's Guild
had a question and answer session. No matter what kind of work session we have,
my reaction to the material is the same: dismay. I can't build the readers
necessary to earn a publisher's respect. I can't write commercially. I can't, I
can't, I can't. And then I look at my computer screen and see the tab for my
blog: Mission: Faithwalk. It's based on "Mission: Impossible." It's
about doing what can't be done. It's about moving forward when I don't know
where I'm going or how to get there. Over the past several months, I've been
asking God to cause my ministry to grow... me, those whose lives it touches,
and itself so it can do more of the other two.
Of course, the problem with asking for
something to cause me to grow is that growth, especially in faith, is hard
work. And that takes me back to the "But I can't" part of the
cycle. I've told the story too many
times to know whether I told it in this blog - but years ago I was jogging
around Wintergreen George Cemetery. Like many cemeteries, it's built on the
side of a hill. I'd get to the bottom and whine, "God, I
don'wannnna."
One day, God said, "OK, you don't have
to." I don't think He gave me a chance to recover from my shock (I don't have
to? Really?) before He asked, "But are you gonna?"
I gritted my teeth, said, "Yeah" and
jogged back up the hill, only to repeat my whine as I got to the bottom again.
I suspect the same policy applies here, even if the words are different.
"I
caaaan't."
"You
don't have to. You can give up, walk away... but are you going to walk by
faith, trusting that I can do what you cannot, trusting that I will guide you
through a path that will get you where you are going? Are you gonna jog up this
hill?"
I wonder
if it's progress that I'm not gritting my teeth.
Nice post, Karen. Walking in Faith is often painful, more so when we have to stretch out of our comfort zone. Thanks for reminding that others have doubts too.
ReplyDeleteTimothyH