Skip to main content

Gritted Teeth: Personal Note


                Tonight, Jerry Jenkins' Writer's Guild had a question and answer session. No matter what kind of work session we have, my reaction to the material is the same: dismay. I can't build the readers necessary to earn a publisher's respect. I can't write commercially. I can't, I can't, I can't. And then I look at my computer screen and see the tab for my blog: Mission: Faithwalk. It's based on "Mission: Impossible." It's about doing what can't be done. It's about moving forward when I don't know where I'm going or how to get there. Over the past several months, I've been asking God to cause my ministry to grow... me, those whose lives it touches, and itself so it can do more of the other two.

                Of course, the problem with asking for something to cause me to grow is that growth, especially in faith, is hard work. And that takes me back to the "But I can't" part of the cycle.  I've told the story too many times to know whether I told it in this blog - but years ago I was jogging around Wintergreen George Cemetery. Like many cemeteries, it's built on the side of a hill. I'd get to the bottom and whine, "God, I don'wannnna."

                 One day, God said, "OK, you don't have to." I don't think He gave me a chance to recover from my shock (I don't have to? Really?) before He asked, "But are you gonna?"

                 I gritted my teeth, said, "Yeah" and jogged back up the hill, only to repeat my whine as I got to the bottom again. I suspect the same policy applies here, even if the words are different.

                "I caaaan't."

                "You don't have to. You can give up, walk away... but are you going to walk by faith, trusting that I can do what you cannot, trusting that I will guide you through a path that will get you where you are going? Are you gonna jog up this hill?"

                I wonder if it's progress that I'm not gritting my teeth.

Comments

  1. FantasythymeMarch 25, 2016 at 10:55 AM

    Nice post, Karen. Walking in Faith is often painful, more so when we have to stretch out of our comfort zone. Thanks for reminding that others have doubts too.

    TimothyH

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Right Road

          Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:7-12)                  For years before GPSes existed, I told people I wanted something in my car that would tell me, “Turn left in half a mile…turn left in a quarter mile…turn left in 500 feet… turn left in 100 feet…turn left now …You missed the turn, Dummy!” The problem isn’t necessarily that I get lost so much as I’m afraid I’ll get lost. I don’t want to have to spend my whole trip stressing over the next turn. I have the same problem with my spiritual journey.   
Post a Comment
Read more

Died as a Ransom

                 For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. (Hebrews 9:15)                  This is something I’d really rather not think about but here it is and it’s important. I was reading in Bold Love about seeking revenge.  The author wrote of seeking justice when a supposed Christian does something sinful, harmful, and/or horrific, like sexually abusing a daughter.  And the thought that came to mind was of God asking if Jesus’ death was sufficient payment to me for the sin committed against me.                I have no specific longing for revenge, vengeance, or justice. I’m sure there are some lurking somewhere in my heart, but this wasn’t a response to one. It was more a question of principle. Jesus’ death was sufficient payment for to God for our sins.  That’s the standard Sunday Schoo
1 comment
Read more

Out of the Depths

  Out of the depths I have cried to You, Lord. Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the sound of my pleadings.   If You, Lord, were to keep account of guilty deeds, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, so that You may be revered. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and I wait for His word. My soul waits in hope for the Lord more than the watchmen for the morning; Yes, more than the watchmen for the morning. Israel, wait for the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his guilty deeds . (Psalm 130)             I like Mr. Peterson’s interpretation of the first line. “The bottom has fallen out of my life!” Of course, the problem for some of us is the fact that we’re drama queens, and/or we’re weak. Any time anything happens that disturbs our sense of mastery and control, the bottom has fallen out of our lives. If the past couple of days have taught me anything, they’ve t
1 comment
Read more