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Will-o'-the-Wisps of the Mind


“Who are you?” they asked.

            “Just what I have been claiming all along,” Jesus replied. “I have much to say in judgment of you. But he who sent me is reliable, and what I have heard from him I tell the world.”  So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am └ the one I claim to be┘[1]  and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” (John 8:25-29) 

               If you take a good personality type test, or if you are ever questioned in any depth by the police, you discover that they ask the same basic questions over and over in different ways. It's their job to try to get at the truth. Sometimes that involves uncovering the lies that we're telling them. Sometimes that involves uncovering the lies that we tell ourselves. The Pharisees were doing their job: trying to find inconsistencies in Jesus' story. In a way, I can't blame them for asking the same question over and over. At the same time, I can't help but think of a paraphrase of a well-known question: "What part of 'I AM' did you not understand the first,...second,...tenth time?" I also can't help but think of a pop-psychology definition of insanity: "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."
          Of course, when we are the ones who keep asking the same question, it's a little different, isn't it? It was the Pharisee's job to doubt. It was also their nature, and it is our nature. The answer Jesus gives is the right answer for them, and for us. When we exalt (lift up) Jesus, we will know. When it becomes about His glory and not ours, then we will know. It was when they had Him crucified, just as He'd foretold, that they would know. It was when He didn't stay dead that they would know. There are many who say, "Show me God and then I'll believe," or "Show me a miracle and then I'll never doubt again." The truth is that the Jews had all the plagues on Egypt and the crossing of the Red Sea, and God on the mountain within sight of camp when they made the golden calf. The Pharisees had the Torah with all the prophecies, and all Jesus' miracles and still they rejected. Our doubt is not about the quality or quantity of the evidence. It's about our fallen human nature.
       When we doubt, then, our response should be twofold. First, we should lift up Jesus. Secondly, we should analyze the doubt. Is it a real question that can be investigated, or is it just human nature expressing itself? If it's a real question, then we should investigate the answer to the best of our ability. That's what they teach on shows like CSI. You follow the evidence. You go where the evidence leads even if it doesn't make sense, because eventually, it will. That's what the Pharisees refused to do. Instead, they followed their feelings of doubt. Logic and answers couldn't reduce or eliminate it.
       The doubts that are our fallen human nature tend to be amorphous anxiety - negative emotions tied to will-o'-the-wisps of the mind (AKA brain fog.) If we focus on it, we exalt it and we wander endlessly. If we follow the evidence, if we exalt what the evidence shows, then we will overcome the doubt.


[1]  The phrase in the brackets is not included in the Greek manuscripts of this text. They were inserted in order to help us understand what the Greek expresses. I think it's more powerful without it. "“When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me."

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