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On This Rock

          I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled. Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us. Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. (Habakkuk 3:16-18) 
                Somehow, this needs to be written tonight. When I first started Mission: Faithwalk it was meant to communicate what I was going through. Like Abram, I was leaving home and heading somewhere I didn’t know. A lot has happened since July 2015. This past few days have been trying, because like July 2015, I am having to leave what I know and go somewhere I not only don’t know, but somewhere I don’t want to go. It’s been hard.  I don’t even know what it is that I don’t know, what questions to ask, or really anything else. I have tried to explain to some that it’s like being an amoeba. You go along until you bump into something, and then you react to it, usually by trying to turn and go another way.
              I think I am finally beginning to see a few steps into the future. What I see isn’t pretty. It tends to involve having to make decisions, either to do what Dad wants me to do, or to do what I believe best. Today, someone mentioned that she hoped I didn’t think that Dad would be coming home when he leaves the hospital. He’s going to have to go to rehab. Do I tell them no and we make due as best we can because that’s what Dad wants. Or, do I make him go to rehab. Are they acting in his best interests, or are they just feeding the system? I would like to believe the former, but am I right?
               As I was taking Grace for a walk, and starting to release the stress of day, the idea that came to mind is “God is good.” I can’t imagine facing this if I still had a job. I would have to quit, but the quitting would be in a crisis. I can’t imagine facing this without the many, many people who are being overwhelmingly helpful. Dad and I have a long way to go, and it may not have a “happy ending.” I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, but God is good. Somehow, things will all work out. They may not do so as I’d like, but God is good.
           It may sound as though I’m trying to convince myself, but I’m not. I am already convinced. The storm may rage around me and I may get confused or lost but this is the rock on which I can stand, that no matter what may come, God is good.

Comments

  1. MarilynDecember 6, 2017 at 5:32 PM

    You are so right. And He will lead you. Talk to them about the rehab thing. It's possible that his limitations may be too much for you to handle on your own right away. No one WANTS to go to rehab, as far as I know. But if you know that it's truly for his good you'll have confidence in standing firm. It's horrible to go through. Been there, done that. And right here praying for you, and him, and health care team.

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