Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. (Proverbs 2:9-11)
This morning, a friend from one of my writing groups who asked why she is facing so much suffering. Her response was that it is because she is strong enough…. This goes back to the idea that God will never give us a challenge that we can’t handle. I’m sure that’s meant to be encouraging, but I think that’s hogwash. What sort of god would have as its only criteria for why it gives us a struggle, the fact that “we can handle it”? Equally, what sort of god would give us struggles to prove to us that we can handle it? It seems to me that the best response to such a god would be to become weaker and weaker, because the less we can handle, the fewer and smaller struggles it will give us. What would be best of all is for us to be too weak to withstand even the smallest struggle because then this god would refrain from giving us any problems at all.
For some, struggles are all about the overcoming. Victory at any price. Are you going to be a whiner or a winner? When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Still others play the blame game of shame … if we weren’t so ______, or if we hadn’t _________ then this suffering would not have come.
I believe there are many reasons why we suffer. Not only does one size not fit all, but your sufferings may have more than one reason. Exploring and identifying those reasons can be helpful and is useful in framing your response. Some of my current suffering is collateral. My father is suffering. As a result, I’m suffering. I live in the same house. I deal with the stuff he faces. It’s not “about me” but I’m learning, which means I’m benefitting from his suffering. Now, if I could remember that as I go through my day, it would help. My sister is a thousand miles away and faces the struggles of long-distance struggling. Now that’s powerlessness.
The thing is, we may not know the reason for our suffering, but we can make some choices about our response. Struggles can harden, or they can soften. We can become angry, resentful, bitter, and hard. Or we can grow, gain strength, lose some rough edges, etc. We can turn the focus on ourselves – that’s natural. We can engage the problem and grow and learn. We can engage the God who rules over both us and the problem and have victory even if we only come through the problem by the skin of our teeth.
This morning, a friend from one of my writing groups who asked why she is facing so much suffering. Her response was that it is because she is strong enough…. This goes back to the idea that God will never give us a challenge that we can’t handle. I’m sure that’s meant to be encouraging, but I think that’s hogwash. What sort of god would have as its only criteria for why it gives us a struggle, the fact that “we can handle it”? Equally, what sort of god would give us struggles to prove to us that we can handle it? It seems to me that the best response to such a god would be to become weaker and weaker, because the less we can handle, the fewer and smaller struggles it will give us. What would be best of all is for us to be too weak to withstand even the smallest struggle because then this god would refrain from giving us any problems at all.
For some, struggles are all about the overcoming. Victory at any price. Are you going to be a whiner or a winner? When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Still others play the blame game of shame … if we weren’t so ______, or if we hadn’t _________ then this suffering would not have come.
I believe there are many reasons why we suffer. Not only does one size not fit all, but your sufferings may have more than one reason. Exploring and identifying those reasons can be helpful and is useful in framing your response. Some of my current suffering is collateral. My father is suffering. As a result, I’m suffering. I live in the same house. I deal with the stuff he faces. It’s not “about me” but I’m learning, which means I’m benefitting from his suffering. Now, if I could remember that as I go through my day, it would help. My sister is a thousand miles away and faces the struggles of long-distance struggling. Now that’s powerlessness.
The thing is, we may not know the reason for our suffering, but we can make some choices about our response. Struggles can harden, or they can soften. We can become angry, resentful, bitter, and hard. Or we can grow, gain strength, lose some rough edges, etc. We can turn the focus on ourselves – that’s natural. We can engage the problem and grow and learn. We can engage the God who rules over both us and the problem and have victory even if we only come through the problem by the skin of our teeth.
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