Skip to main content

Not My Will


          Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
          Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 
           Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
               He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
                Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” (Matthew 26:36-46)

          Have you faced any Gethsemane moments? Looking back, I’ve had many. They weren’t truly life-and-death decisions. But they were times when I either felt I could not face what seemed to be approaching, or when I knew I had to choose between what God wanted, and what I wanted. 
          Some of those times were battles for me. Like Jesus, I had to go back and pray it again, not three times, but thirty or three hundred… “Not my will but Thine.” And as hard as it is when things aren’t going well, it’s harder when God asks you to give up something you think is good or even essential.
          When I first started using this prayer, I recall grumbling it. “OK, God, I don’t like what’s going on. I think it’s a bad idea. I can’t imagine why you’re putting this on me. What did I do to deserve it? Well, whatever…not my will but Thine.”
          There have been times when I felt pain. Often, this involved walking across a parking lot to a job I hated. “I feel like I’m dying, Lord. This job is killing me. I want to turn around and walk away, collect my dog and just start driving. My heart is breaking, Lord, but not my will, but Thine.”
         Fear is a frequent component of these prayers. “I don’t think I can survive this. I don’t know what to do, but not my will but Thine.”
          Over time, I’ve also learned to say it with peace and even with joy. “Guide me, Lord. Lead me where You will. Not my will, but Thine.”  As I look out my window this morning at the beautiful white blossoms of the serviceberry bushes I planted last summer, I find myself weepy with gratitude as I say, “Not my will, but Thine.” 
          Paul wrote about having learned the lesson of contentment, with little or with much. God is the answer. We can do all things through Him who strengthens us. That is why we can say, “Not my will, but Thine.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Gal 6:10)   “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.   By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)           Joshua grinned when he saw Rex standing by the door, studying something on the ground. "Hey, man! Are we ready to do this thing?"          Rex looked up. "Josh, I can't do it. We're still best buds, but I can't stand your fiancée."           I've met "Rex" many times. I've been Rex. Joshua (Jesus) loves the Church. He's not a fool. He knows the Church is far from perfect, but she is His chosen bride. The Rexes of this world, who think themselves His friend, turn away from her. "You don't need the Church to...

Ssssssubmmissssssionnn

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ . (Ephesians 5:21)             "Ssssssubmmisssssssionnn." Can't you just hear the serpent hissing this most horrible of words? If you listen to the serpent or the world, submission means groveling, allowing yourself to be abused, denying yourself your own humanity. Nothing could be worse than submission, could it?             Submission has never been a problem for me, as long as things are going the way I want them to. The rest of the time? Well, let's just say that while I don't know how to fight physically, I don't know how to not fight mentally. One of the fights I've been having with myself for years is about submission.             My first breakthrough took place on a trip to a bookstore. As I walked into the store, my thoughts were very clear. 1) I was goi...

Shark Fins, Triple Dog Dares, Heroes, Villains and Sidekicks

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)            There's a scene in Jaws in which someone sees a shark fin and starts a panic. As   all the swimmers scramble to shore, boats surround the fin, which falls over to reveal two kids. With several guns pointed at them, one of the kids points at the other. The message is clear: it was his idea. In Christmas Story, there's a scene in which one kid "triple dog dares" another to do something stupid. Since it's a triple dog dare, well, what choice does the boy have? There doesn't seem to be any end to the trouble that peer pressure can cause. ...