Gifts

          For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. (II Timothy 1:6-7)

          Before I begin, as you read this, I will either be waiting to pull out or on the road. I’d appreciate prayer.

OK, I’m trying not to weep as I start this post, because the instant I read it, my mind pressed the button to play an old, familiar song. It has words like “What gift?” … “I ain’t got none.” … “I’m a nobody who can’t do nothing right” …  “Have you seen my career trajectory?”  OK, everyone, pull out your tiny violins and start playing. And the really sad thing about it is that if someone else were to start with the same pity party (on their own behalf) I wouldn’t respond well.

          I’m not going to say it’s a lie. I suspect it’s a case of misidentification or of bad definitions. I have no gifts from God because I’m not rich, famous, or powerful as a result of said gift. I am not ranked with the best-of-the-best at anything. I don’t astound people with my abilities. Well, I might astound them with my stubbornness, obsessiveness, compulsivity, persistence, or focus in those situations in which that trait (by whatever name) is demonstrated.

          But putting all that whimpering and whining aside, this is another piece of the puzzle of seeking the kingdom. Being part of the kingdom isn’t about moping, “noping,” or doping ourselves. The kingdom is all about God, but it includes love and laughter, music and movement, creativity and curiosity, and energy and enjoyment. So as we seek the kingdom, it might not be so much about where we’re world-class stars, but rather about doing moral, right things that bring us joy and finding a way to do those things in ways that are fueled by our love for God and for His people.

          This brings to mind a pianist I know. She can play a piece of music and transpose it into another key while holding a conversation with someone. I’m not suggesting that we should be able to multi-task quite like that, but if we can find a way to love God and/or love one another, and do something we love, we are doing far more than the person who may be world-class at the thing loved, but who does it for nothing more than money, power, or fame.

          Something else that comes to mind – a question that might give you a hint about yourself. What can’t you not do? Putting it differently, what do you need to do? A couple years ago, while taking care of Dad, I found myself in desperate need of color. I got some plastic canvas and yarn and astounded people because I could walk the dog, holding a flashlight, and stitch away. Last winter, more than once, I found I needed to take pictures. I can’t not exercise creativity in some way. If I go too long, it does bad things to my soul.

          Over the past couple of years, partly due to the pandemic, I think I’ve been expanding my skills, adding gardening, cooking, and canning to my repertoire. What makes me think so? The fact that I can’t make a “normal” jam or jelly. I can’t make strawberry jam. I have to make strawberry-rhubarb, or strawberry-pineapple, or strawberry-orange jam.

          Sigh, and now you see me heading in the opposite direction of the beginning of this little essay, from “I ain’t got none” to “Look at all the fun I’m having.” Am I finding ways to love God or other people at the same time? Maybe not often yet, but it takes time to build skills.

          So, as I think about all of this and the coming fall and winter, I can’t help but think that I’m going to need the stubbornness, obsession, persistence, etc., because there is just so much that I want to do and to learn so that I can love God and others by doing the things I enjoy.