Immanuel

             “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). (Matthew 1:23)

          “A similar but even more profound feeling had come over me when our first child was born. I realized painfully that this incredibly beautiful little creature we had brought into the world was utterly separate from me and that nothing I could do would shelter him from his aloneness in the face of time, brutal events, the meanness of other human beings, his own wrong choices, the day of his own body and, finally death.

          It is simply not within human capacity to care effectively for others in the depths of their life and being or even to be with them in finality – no matter how much we may care about them.” (Dallas Willard, Hearing God, p. 43)

 

         I’ve written about this before. One of the things that upset people about COVID-19 in the early days was the fact that those who were hospitalized because of it were separated from their families. They died without family or friends at their bedside. As I thought about that, I thought of my estranged brother, who died alone in Florida in late June, out on an unairconditioned porch, and no one in the area – including someone who worked at a funeral home – noticed.

          I thought of my mother, who slipped away while I was holding her hand. As far as I know, she had no idea I was there. She died alone. I thought of my father. It’s possible that I woke in time to be with him when he died, or I might have slept on the floor beside his bed as he took his last breath. I like to think it was the former, but the truth of the matter is that he had been trapped inside his head for so long that it’s likely that if I was with him, it wasn’t “I” but some stranger. He was alone. And I think about myself. I’ve never married. Even if I moved to be closer to my relatives, I’d always be what I have always been – the tag-along.

          As I read, I found myself thinking about the world around me. One website gave these statistics:

• Statistics on loneliness show that 7% of European adults are lonely.
• 53% of Americans claim that they have meaningful real-life interactions with people. 
• Statistics on loneliness in America reveal that 46% of Americans feel lonely, while 47% feel left out.
• 67% of females and 54% of males felt lonely at college.
• Statistics on loneliness show that pet owners are 36% less likely to be lonely than non-pet owners.
• Almost 55% of Australia’s population feel they lack closeness with another individual once in a while.
• Elderly loneliness statistics reveal that 40% of Japan’s inhabitants will live alone by 2040.
• 77% of people between the ages of 18 and 24 believe volunteering helped them feel more connected with others and less isolated.
• Lack of social relationships puts Americans at a 32% higher risk of stroke.
• 28% of older American adults live by themselves, based on the senior citizen loneliness statistics. (26 Sobering Loneliness Statistics You Need to Know in 2021 (2date4love.com))

Could all of this loneliness be the real cause behind the social unrest we see on the news? If we are lonely, and people who aren’t like us don’t meet that need, we (understandably) grow angry and reject those different people, blaming it on the color of their skin or their politics, or their gender, or something else that explains why they aren’t treating us the way we think they should. And we turn to those who are like us, and form little gangs to meet those needs, or we look at those who might need us for some reason and seek an end to our aloneness by “serving” others – and then grow angry when they don’t reciprocate, don’t show gratitude, and don’t end our solitude.

To what extent do we turn to electronic friends – audio, video, print, games, social media; to activities – eating, drinking, working, playing, sleeping; or to other things – drugs (including alcohol and cigarettes), hobbies, projects and crusades to solve our loneliness? How much of my overthinking and overworking is the attempt to prove my value and supply myself with a virtual partner who will do the things that make me feel valued?

And how often do we turn to those things because we’re afraid that turning to God will hurt too much – that He will ultimately leave us alone just like everyone else? Could it be that the greatest need people have is not to have someone hand them money to buy food, but to show them they aren’t alone? In short, could it be that those who keep saying that before we can seek to meet someone’s spiritual needs, we must meet their physical needs have it completely backwards?

There is a story that when American soldiers went into concentration camps after World War II, the thing that helped women more than food was lipstick. Their bodies needed nourishment, but the lipstick connected them to themselves and to other people.

I don’t know about you, but if any of this is true, I need to make some changes. I need to become much more aware of Immanuel - God with us.