In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. (Exodus 15:13)
I will listen to what God the Lord says; he promises peace to his people, his
faithful servants— but let them not turn to folly. (Psalm 85:8)
Sigh. Too many books, too little time. I want to finish The Christian in Complete Armour and come to understand it by sharing some of its ideas with you, but I keep feeling like he’s going off on rabbit trails that I don’t want to follow. I also want to read (again) books by Dallas Willard. I own several, but if I read them before I head south, I don’t have to take them with me.
In Hearing God,
Prof. Willard begins with a story about his grandmother-in-law. She had been
listening to what the family said about a building program at their church, and
about how the pastor had testified that God had spoken to him about what needed
to be done. After listening for some time, she had said, “I wonder why God
never speaks to me like that.”
And it is at that point
that my brain both screeched to a halt and screamed into overdrive. I wish God
spoke to me the way others claim He speaks to them. He tells them to turn left
at the next corner, stop at a house on the right and give them $20, which
happens to be the exact amount needed to pay for some life or death item. They
ask Him where something is, and He takes them by the eyelid and leads them to
the thing. He gives them dreams or visions and/or tells them what the dreams or
visions mean.
I may get around to
finding answers to some of these questions, but here are the questions that
come to mind – questions on which you may meditate, or not, as you see fit:
Why doesn’t God talk to
me like that?
Do I really want God to
talk to me?
How do I really want God
to talk to me?
What do I want God to say
to me?
What don’t I want God to
say to me?
Why do I want God to talk
to me at all, let alone like that?
What other questions do I
want God to answer about how, when, where, why, and who He speaks to?
And I’m going to touch on one of those questions today: Do I really want God to talk to me? The
answer is “yes – and no.” I want Him to talk to me. I want Him to tell me I’m
right, and that He loves me, and that He values me. I want Him to give me detailed
instructions about what He wants me to do, not just right now, but for each
second for the rest of the day – even though I’d probably not approve of half
of the items on the list. I want Him to applaud me in everything I do and every
choice I make, or to so direct what I do that I no longer have to make
decisions or take responsibility. I want Him to tell me I’m special, without
asking me to pay the sort of price Jesus paid, or Paul, or Peter, or any of the
other disciples. I want Him to speak in such a way that shows great respect for
my feelings, but also requires no effort on my part.
I want to hear a “yes”
when I want a “yes,” and a “no,” when I want a “no.” But I don’t want a “yes”
when I wanted a “no” or a “no” when I wanted a “yes.” And I never ever want to
hear “wait,” unless I feel rushed.
I don’t want to hear what
God has to say about my being wrong unless He gently and patiently explains my
error to me, winning my approval for His perspective, and either miraculously
fixes me and my error, or gives me a minutely detailed, easy to follow, clear
set of instructions that a five-year-old could follow (because I get lost so
easily.)
Ouch. How about you?
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