Hearing God 1

          In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling. (Exodus 15:13)

          I will listen to what God the Lord says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants— but let them not turn to folly. (Psalm 85:8)

           Sigh. Too many books, too little time. I want to finish The Christian in Complete Armour and come to understand it by sharing some of its ideas with you, but I keep feeling like he’s going off on rabbit trails that I don’t want to follow. I also want to read (again) books by Dallas Willard. I own several, but if I read them before I head south, I don’t have to take them with me.

In Hearing God, Prof. Willard begins with a story about his grandmother-in-law. She had been listening to what the family said about a building program at their church, and about how the pastor had testified that God had spoken to him about what needed to be done. After listening for some time, she had said, “I wonder why God never speaks to me like that.”

And it is at that point that my brain both screeched to a halt and screamed into overdrive. I wish God spoke to me the way others claim He speaks to them. He tells them to turn left at the next corner, stop at a house on the right and give them $20, which happens to be the exact amount needed to pay for some life or death item. They ask Him where something is, and He takes them by the eyelid and leads them to the thing. He gives them dreams or visions and/or tells them what the dreams or visions mean.

I may get around to finding answers to some of these questions, but here are the questions that come to mind – questions on which you may meditate, or not, as you see fit:

Why doesn’t God talk to me like that?

Do I really want God to talk to me?

How do I really want God to talk to me?

What do I want God to say to me?

What don’t I want God to say to me?

Why do I want God to talk to me at all, let alone like that?

What other questions do I want God to answer about how, when, where, why, and who He speaks to?

And I’m going to touch on one of those questions today: Do I really want God to talk to me? The answer is “yes – and no.” I want Him to talk to me. I want Him to tell me I’m right, and that He loves me, and that He values me. I want Him to give me detailed instructions about what He wants me to do, not just right now, but for each second for the rest of the day – even though I’d probably not approve of half of the items on the list. I want Him to applaud me in everything I do and every choice I make, or to so direct what I do that I no longer have to make decisions or take responsibility. I want Him to tell me I’m special, without asking me to pay the sort of price Jesus paid, or Paul, or Peter, or any of the other disciples. I want Him to speak in such a way that shows great respect for my feelings, but also requires no effort on my part.

I want to hear a “yes” when I want a “yes,” and a “no,” when I want a “no.” But I don’t want a “yes” when I wanted a “no” or a “no” when I wanted a “yes.” And I never ever want to hear “wait,” unless I feel rushed.

I don’t want to hear what God has to say about my being wrong unless He gently and patiently explains my error to me, winning my approval for His perspective, and either miraculously fixes me and my error, or gives me a minutely detailed, easy to follow, clear set of instructions that a five-year-old could follow (because I get lost so easily.)

Ouch. How about you?