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Unwholesome Talk

             Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29) 

            Unwholesome: not characterized by or conducive to health or moral well-being

 

            Don’t use God’s name in vain. Don’t use terms that are crude, lewd, or obscene. Don’t talk dirty. Don’t curse. If we say “Rats!” instead of dropping F-bombs, or “Sugar!” instead of “Shit!” or “Darn!” instead of “Damn!” have we fulfilled the requirements of this verse? What if we also get rid of the snide or sarcastic comments and the “witty repartee” that we tend to think adds some spice to an otherwise bland conversation? Or, what if we dedicate ourselves to speak only positive things, will doing all that finally fulfill the requirements of the verse? And what is left that we can do other than quote Scripture at random?

            The problem is that getting rid of the negatives and other bad stuff only gets you to zero. To be wholesome, you need to add something positive or useful – in other words, wholesome. Even quoting the random Scripture isn’t likely to be wholesome, except by the grace of God. Saying positive things that don’t meet needs, telling people they need to have a positive outlook or that they need to calm down doesn’t help (in case you hadn’t noticed.)

            Some tell us that we shouldn’t say anything, we should just be with the person, feel with them and for them, and that’s all that’s needed, but they’re wrong. That’s not all most people need, which may not be what the specific struggling person needs. It just lets the person who is supposed to be building the sufferer up according to his/her needs feel free to check “helping the sufferer” off their to-do list without having done anything.

            Building others up according to their needs requires that we open our eyes and look to see what their needs are first, then prayerfully and carefully lift that person up. It takes wisdom. It takes courage. It may take several attempts. 

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