Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For,
“Whoever would love life and see good
days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They
must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the
eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their
prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (I Peter 3:9-12)
The
quote in this passage is from Psalm 34:12-16. And, we may as get the obvious
point out of the way. Everything Peter writes about in this passage is an call
to love one another. If we love someone, we’ll be like-minded. The alternative
is to be contentious (I: “Guilty as charged!”). We’ll be sympathetic. We’ll
repay their evil with blessing. We’ll do them good.
But
this morning, someone shared examples of what they claimed were
gaslighting and respectful responses. It seemed that the “respectful”
responses were examples of what someone who is gaslighting seeks. It reminded
me that we need to apply wisdom to every situation and pay attention to what
words mean rather than blindly follow someone’s rules.
With
that in mind, let’s return to the word “blessing.” We’re often told that it
means “something that makes one happy.” But there’s a problem here. Handing a
drunk another drink might make him happy, but it wouldn’t be a blessing.
Agreeing with someone that you are to blame for all their woes might make them
happy, but bowing to their gaslighting won’t be a blessing to either of you. Telling
a woman she can and should get an abortion might make her happy, but again, it
won’t bless her or the baby. Equally, potty training a child may not make the
child happy, but as the child grows up, he will be blessed in his knowledge
that urinating or defecating in his pants isn’t a normal or good thing and
there is an alternative. The same is true of taking things that don’t belong to
one without permission from the owner. The greatest blessings are those things
that connect us more deeply with God, with each other, with ourselves, and with
reality or truth.
Another
factor of love is that it comes from connections with God, each other, ourselves, and reality or truth. I have great difficulties with
people who reserve their compassion for those who “deserve it” more than you
do. I also struggle with those who place all their focus as a Christian on those
folks over in that other land (wherever the other land is) while ignoring the
needs of those who live in the same home or next door. They claim they’re
trying to reach the world for Jesus – but that’s good, but it doesn’t release
one from the command to love one’s family or neighbors.
And,
loving those folks over there doesn’t generally give one a chance to repay evil
with blessing.
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