Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:2-5)
This is one of those passages (or principles) that I keep coming back to. I have a solid case of HU!NY! (Hurry up! Not yet!) It’s not that my present circumstances are challenging. It’s that my future circumstances are something I can’t do much about in the present, and instead of looking at them through the lens of faith, I’m looking at them through the eyes of some measure of desperation. It’s sort of like planning a vacation for Christmas time in July and being anxious about the fact that the car isn’t packed yet.
I’ve told people that I’m not comfortable calling things “spiritual battle” because to me, that’s a claim that the world or the devil are the opponents. But this is a spiritual battle because the flesh is working in opposition to spirit, anxiety in opposition to peace, and arrogance in opposition to faith (or love or obedience…). It’d be so much easier if I’d keep things in perspective. This, that, and the other (TT&tO) are months away. There are things I can do now that will benefit TT&tO. Not long ago, I shared about “perhaps” and “just one step.” But instead of focusing on the next step or on doing what I can, where I am, with what I have, now, I’m wasting time and energy doing the “Oh, what am I going to do?” scene from a bad sitcom, over, and over.
As I key this into
my journal, I’m near the bottom of the page, where this year’s motto is visible
in the footer: “But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will
come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10) The problem isn’t that I don’t know this
stuff. In fact, knowing this stuff is part of the problem. I know, so why is it
so hard to deal with? Why can’t I just “get over it”? But the reality is that
emotions are like riptides. Grief comes to mind as an example. I’ve read that
there are five stages of grief, and they don’t follow a specific order. You can
seem fine, but then something happens, and you feel like you’re right back where you
started.
It’s like getting
caught in a riptide. You must remember to swim across, not with the current,
but every instinct is to fight, and as with the drowning victim, in your
desperation, you’re likely to kill anyone who tries to help you. Freedom and
life depend on doing what doesn’t come naturally with firm determination.
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