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Peace?

                 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)


The past few nights have been tough. I expected to spend time in tears over selling Grace Cottage South, but I guess I really did make my peace with that last summer. Instead, I’ve been stressing over the immediate and near future. How long should I visit my sister? What do I want to be when I “grow up”? How am I going to use up my craft supplies? What goals should I set? How can I help my sister while I’m here? The list always continues and tends to spiral down into silliness. Last night, one of my mental gymnastics included an Olympic level back flip into the statement “Lord, I’m not at peace here!”

For once, my putting something “on the table” was useful. The lack of peace had nothing to do with the people or the place, and everything to do with me. Granted, the place isn’t home, and people always complicate life, but the issue is that I’m not in control, I can’t be in control. It would be wrong of me to assume control. All that tells that natural part of my mind that things are out of control. I got up and journaled for a paragraph. It came to mind to try some deep breathing exercises and a shortish battle to overcome the anxiety I rarely do those unless someone instructs me to.

Of course, there have been other times that I realized that I was in the way of peace in my own life. I know I come in second place as my enemy. But those few moments and a few deep breaths did me a world of good. 

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