Affairs of the Household

          She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31:26-27)

Ah, WDA (Wisdom, Direction, and Attitude) in action. My favorite prayer is answered in this woman. What comes out of her mouth is worth listening to, but she doesn’t just tell others how to live their lives, she lives what she speaks.  We don’t learn to be like her by paying for a webinar. We learn by the way she lives.Granted, she didn’t have social media vampires living in her home, but the gossip machine existed in a more basic form.

Instead, she not only didn’t join in the gossip, but she also gave them very little to gossip about. “Yep, Ruby’s house was in order today. Did you know she bought a shovel to replace the one that snapped in half? She made 12 sashes for the businessmen. Her attire was practical, well-made, clean, discrete, and in good condition. Not one of her kids got dragged to the principal’s office. And, oh, her husband didn’t make a fool of himself in the city gate. Did you hear the advice she gave Gabby? And she said it so nicely!” It’s not exactly the sort of thing to spread like wildfire across the nation.

I’m working at this and see three challenges. The first is that idleness is insidious.  I sit at my computer with specific goals in mind, and three hours later, I’m only halfway done because I’ve either been doomscrolling or arguing. Connected with this is what my sister calls IGAD disease. “I’ve Got All Day.” Nothing somehow manages to expand to fill every nook and cranny, forcing all the little somethings out, or into tight corners. That must be a corollary to Murphy’s Law. And, of course, because I’m doing nothing, there’s room for me to add ten more items to my To Do list and then get stressed because I don’t get anything done.

The third challenge is the examination table. What is necessary for “the affairs of her household” to be watched over? How often does she (or her servant) need to dust the living room? Clean the tub? Is she only commendable if her garden is a specimen garden, with each plant displayed within a circle of perfectly positioned mulch so that it’s framed from every angle? Of can she have a cottage garden in which she might not even know the name of every plant that can be found? Is it OK if there are stacks of stuff on the kitchen table or piles of clean dishes in the drying rack? I know different people have different standards, but does this woman meet or exceed them all? Who decides the standard? This is part of the reason I do five-minute cleaning sprints. It isn’t enough, but it’s a standard I can hit. I could probably do ten-minute cleaning sprints, or even fifteen, but just having the standard lets me empty the exam table quickly.

Now, let’s shift from physical to relational, and specifically with God.  Are our spiritual houses in order? Do we speak with spiritual wisdom, or do we whisper the most popular “spiritual” gossip we’ve heard out in the world?  Do we go to church to hear a “nice” sermon, or to have a potentially uncomfortable encounter with God? This isn’t meant to shame, blame, or badger anyone. It’s not about your meeting my standards or my meeting yours. It’s just an opportunity to notice where some work might be in order.