Clothing

         She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple…She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:20-22, 24-25)

Have you ever heard the saying that the cobbler’s children have no shoes? I’ve heard a story of an obstetrician who didn’t realize that his wife was pregnant. Sometimes, those who are closest to us aren’t given the attention that we give to those who are customers, neighbors, or otherwise “important.” The Proverbs 31 woman doesn’t do this. Yes, she helps the poor and needy. Yes, she makes and sells linen garments and sashes for merchants. But she also clothes her household in scarlet, and herself in fine linen and purple. She doesn’t have to worry about whether her family is prepared for weather.

There are other nuggets that have to do with clothing. This woman is clothed with strength and dignity, and those let her laugh at the future. For her to be clothed with strength and dignity, she must have clothed others with strength and dignity as well. The poor and needy, her family, and all of those people with whom she does business.  If they were not well-served and well-provisioned, she would not be either, no matter how richly she dressed.

What’s perhaps even more important is the fact that strength and dignity come at a price. Strength requires opposition. Dignity is often in spite of appearances, not because of them. This is not a woman who has had an easy-peasy life. She is not (as described in an earlier post) a princess that doesn’t start engines. If she were, then when tough times or winter came, she would lose her dignity.

This is not to suggest what I have heard from at least one teenager, that we should go out with every possible experience as our bucket list (to be completed in the next six months) so that we can be strong or gain dignity, because the issue is not the precise experiences (quantity or type) but in our learning through them. Too many experiences in too short a time-frame will not allow the recovery in between that is necessary to resilience, strength, or dignity.

Neither does it mean that we should shrug off the suffering of others with “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Because what doesn’t kill you may make you stronger if it has a chance, but getting stronger takes time.