Psalm 119

             Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart— they do no wrong but follow his ways. You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed. Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees! Then I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees; do not utterly forsake me.  (Psalm 119:1-8)

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[d] a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:21-25)

                I’ve skipped a couple of the wisdom psalms because they said basically the same things that the previous three said. I was tempted to skip Psalm 119 because it also repeats the themes already covered and it’s so long. But, this first stanza includes an element that resonates with me. Before I get to it, let me note the scholarly tidbit that in Hebrew, each line of the text above begins with the letter aleph, which we could say corresponds with A. The rest of the psalm is divided into verses for each of the other letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

                “Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees!” Oh, that my ways were steadfast, period. Of course, steadfast evil ways aren’t good, but we tend to believe our ways  and choices are good, if only we could be steadfast in them. Those minor, little, insignificant peccadillos (yes, redundant), well, we’ll pretend they aren’t there.

                Years ago, I got angry about my weight, and lost 80 lbs. At some point, the anger ran out, and bad habits snuck back in. I was not steadfast, and now, I can’t seem to find the anger or other energy source to power that battle again. We’re all like that in too many ways. We get revved up for some project then abandon it before it’s done. We may not do this all the time, but on the longer-term projects and the ones that don’t quickly earn the reward we hoped for fall by the wayside. Oh, that we could be steadfast, then we wouldn’t be embarrassed. As it is, we’re tempted to break out in a lament like Paul’s, “What a wretched man I am!”

                Another aspect of this part of Psalm 119 is the claim that the writer sought to become steadfast as he learned God’s righteous laws. We tend to think we know a righteous law because we can quote it. But learning God’s righteous laws requires that we come to obey them, agree with them, and possibly, even understand them. They work their way in and through our lives, becoming our habit to which there may be exceptions instead of mechanical exercises we sometimes remember to struggle through. It’s like any other skill. When we’ve actually learned it, we do it without having to think our way through each action and step. I would love to be so good at loving that it just happened. Or so good at making wise choices.