Skip to main content

Are You Acceptable? Accepted? Accepting?


Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.(Romans 15:7)

          Let me tell you: I don't feel accepted. If you have a couple hours, I could regale you with tales of how I've been rejected. In fact, I'm so sure you're going to reject me that when we first met,  I probably treated you to my "Freak Show," giving you my lifetime of unacceptability so you walked away then, rather than waiting a few years before deciding I'm a monster. Oh? You have your own horror stories? 
         What makes a person feel accepted? As I ponder this question, I'm trying to think of the times I have felt accepted. It doesn't seem to me that should be so difficult, because there haven't been all that many times. At least, that's what my ego tells me. I learned a long time ago that my memory isn't accurate with regard to positive matters of my past. I tend to put experiences through unrealistic filters.
           When it comes to my feeling accepted, what comes to mind is a conference I attended for several years. People who clearly knew what they were talking about allowed me to participate in their conversation even though I didn't know much. They treated me as someone with whom to share information, an equal, not a nuisance. I think of  these as being times when I was treated like an intelligent human being. It meant a lot to me, but I'm sure that other people could have gone to the same conferences and felt completely unaccepted.
        Different kinds of people have different needs when it comes to being accepted. Gary Smalley's Five Love Languages may be helpful here. We feel loved, and therefore accepted when we are given the words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, or physical touch we need. We feel accepted when our needs for love or appreciation are addressed even if they aren't entirely met. It's not so much about feeling "special" as it is about feeling "enough" or "equal."  Another part of being accepted involves contributing in a way that is meaningful to us. When filling a need fulfills us, we feel accepted. Acceptance is a matter for prayer, practice and patience for each of us, whether the question is our being accepted or our accepting others. It isn't easy, but it is required.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Think About These Things

                 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8) This passage is a major challenge for me. Like everyone else, I struggle to keep my thoughts from wandering off into the weeds, then wondering what possible benefits those weeds might have… Sigh. But as a writer, I have to delve at least a little into the ignoble, wrong, impure, unlovely, and debased. After all, there’s no story if everything’s just as it should be and everyone’s happy. As Christians, there are times when we need to deal with all the negatives, but that makes it even more important that we practice turning our minds by force of attention to what is noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. It’s just too easy to get stuck in a swamp. With my...
1 comment
Read more

Higher Thoughts

  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the  Lord . “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)           The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments,   for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord      so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. (I Corinthians 2:15-16) If you read about the ancient gods of the various peoples, you’ll find that they think just like people. In fact, they think just like the sort of people we really wouldn’t want to be around. They think like the most corrupt Hollywood producer or, like hormone overloaded teens with no upbringing.   It’s embarrassing to read. I have a friend who argues that because God is not just like us, He is so vastly dif...
2 comments
Read more

Pure...

            The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (I Timothy 1:5)   I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16) I’m probably cheating - or mishandling the Bible, but earlier I was thinking about love being pure and purifying. And hatred being pure and purifying. And anger…joy…patience… fear… jealousy… courage…lust… and other strongly felt feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. Today’s verse brings purity and love together, so it’s the verse of the day, but it’s not really the focus. That means my motive for sharing it with you probably isn’t pure. As you read through my list, you   probably thought, “Yeah” about some, and “What’s she on?” about others. But consider how much hatred, a...
Post a Comment
Read more