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SWF "Martha" Timidly Seeking Mary and Lazarus


Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (I Peter 4:9) 

          This is one of the subjects I knew I'd face when talking about how we're to treat one another: Hospitality. Ugh. Making people feel at home in my home, my life, my chaos. It's not neat. It's not pretty. It's not even as clean as it should be. It's better and worse than it used to be. Dad is more uncomfortable around people, especially strangers, than he used to be, but at least now when the dog jumps on you, it's aggressively friendliness. I don't grumble about offering hospitality, I cringe and hide so that no one asks. 
        As I think about hospitality, Mary, Martha and Lazarus come to mind. You probably know the story. Jesus and His disciples showed up, Martha got overwhelmed with the hostess responsibilities and complained to Jesus (why not Lazarus?) about Mary not helping and got chided for having her focus wrong. I'm Martha. I'd like to be Mary, but it's  hard when everything seems to be up to me. It's easy to be distracted by wanting approval and admiration when you are trying to love. 
          When it comes to being hospitable, I think some great lessons can be learned beyond the often repeated "stop being a Martha, be a Mary." The first is that they very likely weren't as concerned about everything being clean enough for a health department inspection or neat enough to impress Martha Stewart. Quite probably, they didn't have all the clutter around their home that I have around mine, but I doubt it was a showcase home. The point was not the home. The point was not the food. Those things are necessary but not the focus.
          Perhaps more importantly, there were at least three people hosting this party. They were apparently wealthy enough they might have had servants. I'm not sure they divided their responsibilities quite as I would have, but if you're a solo act, hospitality is harder. If people just drop in, there's not much that can be done, but I'm thinking that if I ever do invite people over, someone is going to be recruited to be Lazarus and someone else to be Mary. At least then if I fail, it will only be with regard to Martha's duties, not those of all three.
         It doesn't seem to me that I'll be ready to host people in my home any time soon, because doing so would make things difficult for my father. That doesn't mean I can't be hospitable elsewhere, as part of someone else's team. I think perhaps I could be a Martha, or help a Martha, and thereby learn to be part of a hospitable team - which would undoubtedly help prepare me for the someday when the venue is mine.

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